Darryl, Brother, may I say that I hope you find peace.
Speaking from recent experience I can say that my days have been all over the place. I've sat and cried for many hours and sat and laughed in sharing stories. My spirit has been troubled, my soul at an unrest, and now, I write this in a form of peace.
That's today.
Tomorrow may bring something different.
You're entitled to have your bad days, brother, don't be afraid to have them. You're also entitled to have your good days. Don't feel guilty when you do.
I know your pain. I know that empty spot you're feeling, the sadness you and I both know we'll carry forever. And it's okay.
I'm glad you've got someone to whom to talk. They are a God-send. Bless them for listening.
God Bless, Darryl. I'm with you in prayer and spirit.