I don't typically do this but I could use some advice.

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doogievlg

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One of my best friends has a women that's been cheating on him. He caught her once before about six months ago and then last weekend he found out again. After the first time it was miserable being around them and there was very little trust. After this time I have no desire to even be around her. The problem is that he is still in love with her and does not see the road he is going down. How can I make this guy see that he is making a huge mistake?
 
Leave him alone and let him get his heart torn out. That's the only way. It's not your business.
 
Stay out of this situation. Just be there for your buddy when the;:-(&$ hits the fan.

I wish it was that simple. This women is awful for him and someone needs to talk since into him. For the last two years he has not been hanging out with another one of our friends that he has known for 15 years because she does not like him. She is going to make him pick her over everyone else in his life and she has cheated on him and feed him lie after lie after lie.
 
What's the plan when he asks me to be the best man in his wedding?

Tell him you cannot and be honest as to why. What he decides to do with his life is totally his decision. You will probably lose his friendship either way. If you continue to try and tell him, he will choose her. If you don't participate in his wedding and tell him why (as you should) he will choose her.

He will choose her regardless, so let him.
 
What's the plan when he asks me to be the best man in his wedding?
If he is indeed a good friend, you have to reject his request to be the best man. You and all his other friends should skip the wedding.
A cheater should be kicked to the curb! PERIOD !
 
In life we have no control who we fall in love with. However, we can control who we fall "out" of love with. You getting involved will ruin your relationship with him. It is a case of damn if you do and damn if you don't but let it play out without interference.

He will see the light eventually without your help (hopefully...)

JW
 
Tell him you cannot and be honest as to why. What he decides to do with his life is totally his decision. You will probably lose his friendship either way. If you continue to try and tell him, he will choose her. If you don't participate in his wedding and tell him why (as you should) he will choose her.

He will choose her regardless, so let him.

We went fishing a few days after it happened and I laid it all out for him and told him how I felt about the situation and me kept saying he was done with her. He's been with her every day since then so it didn't stick but next time I see him I'll give it one more shot and then let it go.
 
We went fishing a few days after it happened and I laid it all out for him and told him how I felt about the situation and me kept saying he was done with her. He's been with her every day since then so it didn't stick but next time I see him I'll give it one more shot and then let it go.

I think that's the smart thing to do.
 
Once a man allows himself under the spell of a sociopathic female, there is nothing you can do. He's like a drug addict but without the awareness that he's on a drug, have compassion because he will end up paying a big price in life. Any of a thousand old movies have this plot. Pray that she decides to leave him soon, and when she does, don't say I told you so, just let him know he still has a friend.
 
Once a man allows himself under the spell of a sociopathic female, there is nothing you can do. He's like a drug addict but without the awareness that he's on a drug, have compassion because he will end up paying a big price in life. Any of a thousand old movies have this plot. Pray that she decides to leave him soon, and when she does, don't say I told you so, just let him know he still has a friend.
Well said..
 
How old is he? I dont mean to sound rude but sounds like age/maturity may play a factor. Hope there are no kids involved.
Good luck
 
How old is he? I dont mean to sound rude but sounds like age/maturity may play a factor. Hope there are no kids involved.
Good luck

No kids involved. Both of them are 26. He is in a big hurry to settle down and have a family so he thinks she is the one. I can't speak much about her maturity because she didn't want to spend much time with us.
 
My oldest boy is 26. At that age (again no offense) young dumb and full of ....
Someone should pay (imo) so if he forgives her, he should be punching out her bootycalls. That may spark something to straighten the situation out.
No kids involved. Both of them are 26. He is in a big hurry to settle down and have a family so he thinks she is the one. I can't speak much about her maturity because she didn't want to spend much time with us.
 
A bodies General Hospital. This is great !!!!!

Haha most other times I would blow it off and not worry about it but this is a powder keg situation and there are parts of this story that I am leaving out. It doesn't change what needs to happen but it's just sad.
 
powder keg? It takes nothing more then an accusation to put him in jail................ Trust me......................... hope he keeps any attitude in check.
 
What's the plan when he asks me to be the best man in his wedding?

Nothing about being best man explicitly shows that you approve of the bride. It is a big honor to be asked and you do it with a clear conscience because you are not part of the marriage contract! All you do is safeguard the rings, make sure the other groomsmen are ready, facilitate conversations, help unescorted ladies to their places, and stand there with your friend. Oh and decorate the car.

Speaking from experience, your friendship may be much more durable than your friend's marriage.
 
I don't know what to tell you. If you guys are best friends and he ignored you yesterday, he sure isn't gonna listen to you today. At this stage I'm thinking he considers the female to be his best friend.
 
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