Wife / Girlfriend rage

So you've lived with her for 12 years (by the way in most states that makes you married), so she must have some redeeming qualities, or you've been nuts for 11 years
I was with my ex for 12 years, 10 years too long. That will never happen again, I bought my house a few weeks after I left her.
Ask her to go to counseling with you and figure out if you can fix what's wrong, before something worse happens.
She wanted me to go to counseling. I didn't, because I knew the answer, she was crazy!

Congratulations on 46 years!