Del is experimentally "throwing in the towel" re: NO smart phone EVER

I don’t have Facebook or any social media or my public email on my smartphone. I don’t want it bugging me all the time. I basically use my smart phone for a phone, text, weather, & GPS.

I have a cellular iPad that I have email & social media stuff on. I can take the iPad on the road when I need to. I hardly use a computer anymore, I can do about everything I want to on my iPad.
How do you get it to connect? It has to have something long distance, AKA cellular, satellite, or a local wireless connection, but that would be only at stops and wherever you can find them.