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A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life... A huge heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dugipeVZtE

http://[URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4y3UjLGpm0"]www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4y3UjLGpm0[/url]

Kids Are Quick TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on...

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.... Soon he sees another sign...

A cowboy from Texas gets pulled over by an Arizona State Trooper for speeding. The trooper started to lecture the cowboy about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the cowboy feel uncomforta ble.. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket...

Hiding From the Cops A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags. The first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it. She says, "Meow." The cop confirms that it is just a cat. The second cop pokes the bag with the...

:-D A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away." The...

Ahh, those were the days....... 8) 1. You used to buy cassette singles… and still have some stashed somewhere… 2. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton 3. You hold a special place in your heart for "Back to the Future." 4. You know where to go if you...

LETTER FROM MOM *Dearest Redneck Son,* *I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your...

What a woman says: "This place is a mess! C'mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now!" What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, "C'MON! blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR blah...

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw...

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Mrs. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Little Johnny, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny looked...

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

A guy meets a childhood pal. "What are you doing for yourself these days?" "I'm a fireman," his old friend replies. "Yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman," says the guy. "Well," says his friend, "if you want some good advice, you've got to install a pole in your house that will go...

Microsoft Works Holy war Found missing Resident alien Minor Catastrophe Affordable housing Near...

Never walk without a document -- People with documents look like hardworking employees headed to important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're headed for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like...

Man walking into bedroom sees wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "Where are you going?" She replies, "I'm going to New York, I've heard prostitutes get $400 a time for what I do for free." The man starts packing a suitcase. Wife asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "I'm coming to...

A crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly...

There was a man who was seeing girlfriends, but did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $2000 and see how each of them spent it.The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, and tells the man, “I spent the money to...

The Human Body It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb). The average man's ***** is three times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman's...