Stop in for a cup of coffee

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A man suffering from erectile dysfunction agrees to have an experimental operation done where an extra muscle from an elephant's trunk is surgically implanted to take over performance.

A few weeks after recovering, he is on a date with a beautiful woman at a nice restaurant. Just as they begin talking over the meal, the newly repaired member pokes up above the table and wraps around a piece of bread and pulls it back under the table.

The woman, quite surprised but smiling happily says "Wow, that's amazing! Can you do it again?"

The man smiles weakly and says "Well I could...but I don't think my *** can take another roll."
 
Wow, has anyone seen what David Letterman looks like these days? I almost didn't recognize him...

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if i can slip out and start driving Thursday, i can be there around lunchtime. If i have to wait til Friday, dinnertime would be more likely.. And that's really pushing it..


I figure 26 hrs drive time. if i can knock out 7 or 8 Thursday, 14 ish on Friday.. leaves me a short Saturday drive.
I don't know, your looking a little under the weather. You might need to take two beers and take Thursday off.:poke:
 
Maybe it's just me, but this Halloween door knocker my wife got seems to look a bit too much like Hoppy...

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I don't know, your looking a little under the weather. You might need to take two beers and take Thursday off.:poke:
wish i could. got a corporate auditor coming Thursday for year end inventory.. not the best time to play hookey... but the thought has been bounced around!
 
A young Sunday school teacher was giving the weekly lesson to her first grade students and decided to end the class by asking "Children, who can tell me what Easter is about?"

Several students raised their hands. She called on little Mary to go first. Mary stated emphatically that "Easter is when all your relatives come over and you eat a big turkey and lots of other stuff before you eat lots of pies!"

The teacher said she was incorrect and asked Bobby to answer next. Bobby said very confidently that "Easter is when you bring a big pine tree into your house and decorate it so that Santa can put lots of presents under it!"

The teacher told him that wasn't correct either. Feeling a bit desperate, she called on Steven to answer. Steven said "Easter is about when Christ died on the cross for our sins. They took his body down for the Sabbath and placed it in a cave."

Delighted, the teacher told him he was quite correct and asked him to tell the class more. Beaming with pride, Steven continued "And when he comes out of the cave, if he sees his shadow...
 
I got a liver in my quiver that makes my gal shiver....Oh yeah...sing it boys. So one night by the river the sliver of liver .... oops....:realcrazy:
 
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