anybody got kids, past or present i got questions

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moparmat2000

moparmat2000

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Ok gang

Any of you got kids past or present i got a question for you. First an overview. I have 2 hyperactive step daughters one is 7 the other is about to turn 6. My wife and i have just had a heated discussion about the fact that they dont listen when you tell them to do something. Most of the time its 2 or 3 times, and usually ends up with her or i having to finally yell at them to get them to do it. They are asked nicely, then it ramps up to yelling to get them to do whats asked of them. This isnt all the time , but quite often than not.

I have no experience with young kids except these children, and a newborn of 8 months that i am learning about every day. My wife says she talks to lots of people with kids their age and says all kids act this way and dont do what they are told the first time around. I dont temember too much at that age when i was a kid i am now 44, so my memories of that are a bit fuzzy, but i think my brothers and i minded pretty well, with the occasional *** swatting when we got out of line.

So what are your experiences with your kids, did they do what they were told when they were told to do it at this age, or did you have to tell them over and over. Is this normal. If it is, this is or isnt will go a long way to not having any more arguments on this matter.

Thanks
Matt
 
Get a belt. I have a 6 and a 17. Both girls and the 6 year old is really active. Now I just have to snap my fingers and she listens. Good luck
 
I've raised 3 children......25,23,20........respectful, hardworking never acted like heatherns.


With that being said........Have you ever raised a good dog?
Listens
Sits
Stays
Don't chew stuff up
No crapping or piddling on the floor

Gotta start early and mean it....even if it takes a boot in the a$$
Keeps em from running out in the street and getting run over.

Same practice works with children........good luck

"All kids act this way" is a cop out.

Be a parent / life teacher............plenty of time after their grown to be friends.
 
well having hyperactive kids is gonna be a challenge....that you can overcome...have to get down to their level and make it seem like the fun thing to do....giving a hug for a reward will work wonders and keeping patient with them ...even helping them along if need be...kinda like building an old mopar but no grease or busted knuckles
 
That's funny because I'm the only one that can keep my grandson in line.
My son never gave me any problems, I told him to do something, he did it. My daughter (step) was in good shape until the divorce. She went to hell in a hurry. I was able to salvage my son, but wasn't able to have contact with the step daughter. She now has kids she cant control.
You're probably dealing with some jealousy issues if you now have a baby. They may be looking for attention, positive or negative.
There is no good fix, assert you control with the 8 month old and good luck. the other two will get better as they get older, as long as you remain a good role model.
At 44 your stronger man than me.
 
duck tape wire ties and put them in to the closet. your good until the chew through the tape
 
really now you have to show them that you are boss and start really just like wwith a dog
 
Be firm and fair. Don't let them get away with anything because they will try you more than once. I raised two 23 and 28. Both are respectful. The dog idea is no joke same concept. Remember if they are going to be like this now, they will never leave and always ask for help or support. teach them responsibility and give praise when it is justified. I have seen too many kids always get what they want and before you know it they are 35 and still haven't left the house or have a job. Apply the board of education to the seat of knowledge.
 
All I can say is be patient and be involved. Care about what they worry about and it will get easier. Carrots and sticks do not work. Make them feel involved like it means something more than an allowance or reward.
My step daughter and I had our trials. It took a long time but it got easier. She is now 19 and will be a JR in college in August.
 
I have a feeling you may sort of have your hands tied since they are not your kids. Not always, but.....quite possibly. I agree with starting them early. Once kids know what awaits them for ignoring you, it won't happen too much.
 
Good cop, Bad cop needs to come into play and let them know no matter what they are Loved. My experience if you have two, one will be high maintenance and the other low maintenance. Good luck, God Bless!
 
Raised one daughter that is now 32. I can tell you this if every child was just like her the world would be a wonderful place. I can tell you what worked for us. Never make an idol threat, if you tell them your going to take away a privilege when they act up. DO IT! Once a child finds out that your not really going ground them, take their cell phone away, limit a social activity or what ever you threaten to take from them and don't follow through, you have lost control. Thou this is my daughter, my wife is her step mother. We married when my daughter was 5. And no i never had to use physical force.
She is married now,completed her Masters before that and is married to a great guy that is a computer programmer for the missile defense system. And I have a beautiful 8 month old grandson.
 
Ist thing is for you and the bride to agree on whatever you decide. It doesnt matter what we say here, it is her you have to convince. These are 6 and 7 year old kids...my god there age isnt even double digits!!..I have been a stepdad and a dad...youngest right now is 21. I didnt always do what I was told the 1st time at that age. If I got caught for everything I did wrong or for not listening, I wouldnt be around right now.
 
Add, ADHD, hyperactivity...all that. You know where it comes from, right? Processed foods. you caint get away from it. Yeah. beat on um with a belt for somethin that aint their fault. Great idea. NOT. My son was a child with ADHD and still is an adult with it. The best thing you can do is go see your doctor. I didnt believe in throwin drugs at my son, but once I saw how they helped him, I was sold. Make it about THEM, not about you putting up with them. Make it about getting them the help they need to be productive young people. Fix it now. While they are young. It may take a little while to zoom in on the right medication, but it's like night and day when you find it. Just my 2 cents.
 
I have raised or helped raise 8 of the little buggers. I will never say I know a lot about it but I do know what doesn't work. NEVER EVER say anything to them that you AND your wife will not follow through with. The number one job of pretty much every kid is to see what they can get away with. They will push you every day just to test you in some way. When they see a crack they will exploit it. I know, I make them sound like little monsters, but that is just what they do.
Now here are a few pointers because you are not in to deep yet.
1. Sit down with the wife and come to an agreement on agreeing with each other no matter what. Even if you two don't agree on something. agree to in front of the kids. You can always discuss it later when the kids are not around.
2. If you say you are going to do something, DO IT! If you are consistant with that, they learn very quickly not to cross the line.
3. Always say thank-you or good job or both when they do something without asking. They remember that feeling of self-worth for a long time.
4. Make sure they know that homework or chores always come before play.
5. They are kids, kids yell and scream and make all kinds of noise, that's normal, let them do it to excess, it wears them out and makes going to bed a lot easier.
6. If you give them an allowance, make sure they know they have to earn it. If they don't do their chores, they don't get the allowance. When they complain tell them why they didn't get that allowance.

That's all for now, but unfortunately it only scratch's the surface of raising kids.

Jack
 
I have two boys one a step son, and you have to lay down the law with punishment my son know that if he don't do as he is told he will get his butt busted, Step son knows the same thing that even throw I'm not his dad he better do as I ask, but they all go through that athe older they get the worse my two are 11-16 but they are good kids I don't have to threaten them much,
THE BIGEST THING IS THAT BOTH PARENTS HAVE TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE
 
moparmat2000 said:
Ok gang
with the occasional *** swatting when we got out of line.
Matt
Click to expand...

There is your answer as to why you minded....

set limits and boundaries. If expectations are not met follow through with the punishment. Hell get the kids to come up with the punishments for themselves.

I have been told yelling does not get through to them because they learn to tune you out very quickly.
Ask them nicely ... if not done ...
when they ask for something ... a simple "no, because you did not ....."

I have not raised kids past 5 years, but i am getting there ... i heard the above method from an elderly lady.
 
The one and only thing I can add to this after reading Coyote Jack's post and others is To much Bread in there diet
Hyperactive children 8 times out of ten get way to much bread in there diet.
Short and sweet... Bread stop and think how much of this are they getting :sign7:

I worked closely with Dr.'s for over 15 years and this is what I was told in casual conversation and I have told friends and family about this problem parents did not know and they seen results with in 2 weeks. I learned this well over 25 years ago and I have raised 2 of my own children and now 30 and 32.


As short and sweet as I could but this is a true fact :coffee2:
 
I'm sorry that I do not have a solution to the problem of crazy acting kids.
I have had zero problems of this nature and the others that say this is normal are just coping out. IMO, that's bullshit.

I'm really not for spanking a child or kid in order to get them to do something, but, in the ultra rare incident that has happened to me, just taking it off my waste and striking everything around me screaming like a lunatic has produced excellent results.

I have never had to spank the kids more than once. And the mild pat was an eye opener for them in just the fact they got a pat on the backside.

Whatever it takes, grab hold of them NOW before they truly become out of control.
 
you have the easiest ones!

you have to keep them busy... take them fishing, help work on cars, take them swimming, etc. etc. etc. during those times you will have plenty of opportunity to teach them about life. they need plenty of talk time, plenty of dad time. it helps them grow up good.

the only problem is kiss your "personal schedule" goodbye. but you wont miss it ;)

p.s. mine liked to go to the family rec center they had go-karts lol
 
I have a daughter, and am a teacher of middle school students. I teach shop. My wife is a guidance counselor.

From what I can see before you can solve the problem you need to understand it. Kids delelopment is affected in 3 ways, geneticly, chemically and envirenmentaly. SOme of these things are reversable, some are not. None are an easy task. Based on their ages you have a chance. Your wife and you have to be on the same page to make any ground. Consistancy is the key.

These kids have already been bombarded with around 40 vaccines. Many are known to cause social disorders and brain changes and damage. You can't change that. If you and or your wife are adamit about vaccinating your child. With your 8 month old, check out Dr. Sears alternative vaccination schedule.

What they have been fed canot be changed but altering their diet if need be to eliminste as much processed foods as possible is essential.

Get them into routines. Get them active, outlets for the energy.

You mentioned having to tell them more than once and then yelling etc. Get on the same page with your wife and adopt the ask once policy. Remember they are 6-7 years old. They really don't have the option of cntolling you or your wife unless you let them. Don't raise your voice if not needed. being strict without emotion takes one of their pleasures out of the situation, your emotional response to them.

Talk to their teachers at school about the issues. Make sure what you are doing at home is also done at school. If you are unhappy with their teachers, complain. School back down to parents easily.

Most of your behaviors in life come from 2-7 years old. After that it's mostly refinement.
 
You got it easy right now believe it or not.
Wait till they are in thier early teens.
 
lots of good info here and my wife is in this profession the first thing she does is change of diet no processed food and no dyes like food coloring red and yellow dyes are bad like the yellow dye in waffles. this method sems to be a good start it helps with concentration and hyperness.
 
TrailBeast said:
You got it easy right now believe it or not.
Wait till they are in thier early teens.
Click to expand...

Got a 14 year old in her teens. We take her phone every night at 10 pm, and we look thru it to make sure theres no shenanigans going on. Lately she had abused her supposed best friend on a social media site. We told her that wasnt acceptable, she is representing us, we took her phone until we decide she gets it back, we changed all the passwords to her social media sites, so she cant get on them during the day using a friends phone at school. her she can only use facebook, and email when she gets the phone back, she is also grounded. We tried using sprint parental controls to automatically shut off the phone at 10 pm and during school hours, but sprint cant do this with an iphone 4S.

She was upset about the phone, but my wife told her its our phone, we paid for it, and we pay the monthly bill for it. Its a privelege for her to use it not a right. When she is an adult moves out and pays her own phone bill then what she does with it is none of our business, until then as long as she lives under our roof and we are paying her way, everything she does is our business.

I believe her younger siblings are watching all this.
 
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