Want to pose a question

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Separate finances work in my household, just make sure the wife has spending money.
She will be happy and surprised if you deposit cash in her account, doesn't have to be much.
But, I bet life will be much happier.
 
Oh, I forgot ! tell her face friends to BUTT OUT !
 
She said she would pose the question to her facebook friends and asked me to pose the question to my Fabo friends, and see what the responses are. I can already see that from the 2 the women that replied on her facebook that their views are probably all going to be diametrically opposed to what most of you think.
 
She said she would pose the question to her facebook friends and asked me to pose the question to my Fabo friends, and see what the responses are. I can already see that from the 2 the women that replied on her facebook that their views are probably all going to be diametrically opposed to what most of you think.
as with anything - it depends on who you ask..
 
Your wife doesn't want to know my real opinion. I bet most of her friends are single or about to be single.
 
To the wife....Airing your dirty laundry on facebook ?
Unbelievable. Some things should be kept private, and your marital
matters would be one of them.
 
To the husband....You two are supposed to be a team. All for one one for all. You two against the world. For better or worse.
I do not agree with your separate account, behind her back.
You have to trust one another, or you have nothing.
 
Want to pose a question. If you wanted to open a separate checking account to pay bills with that wasnt joint acct with your wife, so you go and open it without her knowledge. Would that be considered underhanded or sneaky.

After having to deal with debits and expenditures on a joint checking account with my wife, and sitting at kitchen table every week for an hour at a clip getting frustrated figuring it out to square it up, i decided to just open a separate acct to deal with paying bills, and never told her. So she asks me this morning if i did that, i told her yes, and why. So she says its underhanded and sneaky even though i showed her the register, and its all either bills, or gas in the car. I figured i was gonna get an argument either way because every week its an issue about who owes what to the acct. We both work full time. I figured this was a way to not argue, since i was no longer using the joint acct. So it blew up on me anyways

Curious as to what you think.
Matt

Should have told her, nobody reacts well to secrets regardless of what the reason.

For us, other than business accounts all the $ goes into one account. Been 33 years and we both have done the bill paying at different time. Never been my money or her money issues. We both ask out of respect before any significant spending. Honestly I don't understand a marriage where some things are not shared?

That being said what works for me may not work for you!
 
My wife and I have a " PTB = Pay the bills" joint account, our own individual accounts. 50% of our checks go direct to PTB, the rest to individual.

been doing this for 15 of our 20 years together.

Keeps the peace.

-Bruce
 
To the husband....You two are supposed to be a team. All for one one for all. You two against the world. For better or worse.
I do not agree with your separate account, behind her back.
You have to trust one another, or you have nothing.
Exactly, your a smart man.
 
To the husband....You two are supposed to be a team. All for one one for all. You two against the world. For better or worse.
I do not agree with your separate account, behind her back.
You have to trust one another, or you have nothing.
yes, behind her back is an issue - are you saying that if he had talked to her about it first and they agreed, then is that ok?
 
Personally I think it's wrong. I know a lot of people do it know of days. But, I guess I'm old school my wife and I are on everything together. Properties,Cars,Bank Accounts, And so on.... If you are going to hide stuff or do things behind each others back then why be married.

The quality of partner (goes both ways) makes that possible, or impossible. It was impossible for me. 10 years then divorced. GF I've had for 10 years now is also divorced. We keep separate accounts but I know her spending and she knows mine. It solves a lot of tension like the OP has and I don't feel it's a slight in anybody's direction.
 
I will say that I have not read through both pages completely but felt compelled to comment. The "behind her back" thing will bite you squarely and very hard at some point. That said, the fact that this is even a consideration saying something about the relationship (not saying its bad or good). It seems that there is a desire to have some "play money" that the wife is not supportive of; IMO this requires a much larger discussion than opening a covert bank account.

I get it believe me, my wife is a stickler with finances which has been the source of issues more than once. That said, as a direct result of her efforts I am completely debt free and own a lot of crap (9 vehicles, 3 motorcycles, etc) so I have no right to complain (even though I still do). In our case, I do have a separate account that I have had since 86 (pre marriage); I have an amount of money that goes into it monthly specifically for my own use on the agreement that in times of emergency I will provide it for the greater good.
 
The quality of partner (goes both ways) makes that possible, or impossible. It was impossible for me. 10 years then divorced. GF I've had for 10 years now is also divorced. We keep separate accounts but I know her spending and she knows mine. It solves a lot of tension like the OP has and I don't feel it's a slight in anybody's direction.
well said sir
 
Mrs. Moparmatt, don't sweat the small stuff. Matt was just doing what he thought was right with the separate account. He just went about it the wrong way. (pay attention here Matt) Give it a try and see how it works. If it doesn't you can always close the account and go back to the way it was.
 
Mrs. Moparmatt, don't sweat the small stuff. Matt was just doing what he thought was right with the separate account. He just went about it the wrong way. (pay attention here Matt) Give it a try and see how it works. If it doesn't you can always close the account and go back to the way it was.
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My wife knows about the cash being applied to the gun safe. She doesn't know how much and doesn't care.
It's gonna be nice if the rainy day ever comes, real nice !
Bottom line folks, mans purpose is to provide for his bride and endure any financial stress.
 
I will say that I have not read through both pages completely but felt compelled to comment. The "behind her back" thing will bite you squarely and very hard at some point. That said, the fact that this is even a consideration saying something about the relationship (not saying its bad or good). It seems that there is a desire to have some "play money" that the wife is not supportive of; IMO this requires a much larger discussion than opening a covert bank account.

I get it believe me, my wife is a stickler with finances which has been the source of issues more than once. That said, as a direct result of her efforts I am completely debt free and own a lot of crap (9 vehicles, 3 motorcycles, etc) so I have no right to complain (even though I still do). In our case, I do have a separate account that I have had since 86 (pre marriage); I have an amount of money that goes into it monthly specifically for my own use on the agreement that in times of emergency I will provide it for the greater good.

My only play money is my paypal account period. If nothing is in my paypal, i dont buy project parts. Its not linked up to savings etc. My checkbook is always open for her to look at. Its a boring read. Bills, gas, dog food at pet smart for my little idget etc. Whatevers left goes to savings.

If i wasnt a saver we wouldent have had the extra 3k to put on a newer car for her along with the trade in on a van we were upside down on. If it wasnt for me, we wouldent be living in a house that i bought and payed for in its entirety a year before we got married, or would have the money for property tax and homeowners insurance yearly as i have to escrow that myself since i dont have a mortgage. If i wasnt a saver i wouldent have a 401k that will provide for her long after i am gone. She is the beneficiary of everything. She touts to her friends how i am good at making the money work, this is one of those things.

Yep i am gathering from a lot of you that i went about this the wrong way, however every time i would mention doing this in the past we would argue about it. After 8 years of this, i got to where i would dread looking at the account every week and try to make the numbers add up.

I write checks for all the bills. She works full time as a nurse. I only ask her to buy the groceries, take care of her student loan, our sons after school care and gas in her car, plus whatever else she wants to use the money she makes for. She usually buys Christmas for the kids, i asked her what she needed this year, gave her $500 towards it.
 
My wife knows about the cash being applied to the gun safe. She doesn't know how much and doesn't care.
It's gonna be nice if the rainy day ever comes, real nice !
Bottom line folks, mans purpose is to provide for his bride and endure any financial stress.

Yup, and i do. I cover everything but her student loan, the groceries which she agreed to buy to help out, the after school care for our son which she agreed to pay for and her fuel.

I do the rest. Homeowners ins, prop taxes, water, electric, gas, cable, phone, car payment, auto insurance, healthcare, dental, eyecare ins, money in 401k.

My play money is my paypal money i get from selling parts. Doesnt come out of my paycheck. She never argues with me over that, because she knows where its coming from.
 
[QUOTE="...
Bottom line folks, mans purpose is to provide for his bride and endure any financial stress.[/QUOTE]

Fortunately my wife does not subscribe to this.

We are both very independent/self sufficient, and make a MUCH stronger team because of it.

Did I mention the part about NEVER arguing about money. NEVER.

That equates to almost never arguing.
I can probably count on one hand the number of times we've had strong disagreements in over 18 years.
 
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