Spoiled food...

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pishta

I know I'm right....
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Tuesday night I bought some 'Magic shell' chocolate ice cream syrup, it turns hard once it gets on the ice cream like the coating of an ice cream bar. It says shake well, so I shake it and it comes out like it should and I eat it. Tastes like wood. Well, maybe I didnt shake it enough so I tried it again tonight. I shook it and it didnt sound full so I took top off and stuck a skewer into it and it was like clay. So I heat it in a pan of boiling water and its still not getting runny soft so Im about to cut open the bottle and see WTF is in there and then I notice the date..."Best used June 2017"! So this **** is over 2 years expired....The ingredients are basically coconut oil, sugar and chocolate. I guess the coconut oil got rancid or something? No harm, but I'm a little pissed that it was still on the shelf. Better than chugging out of a 4 week old milk carton!
 
I can beat that..............

Was making a cake. Need some flour to put in the cake pan.

Pancake batter is basically flour, so I open the bag up to a BROWN layer.

Close the bag before I could see if the brown layer was alive.

Best by April 2011
 
Tuesday night I bought some 'Magic shell' chocolate ice cream syrup, it turns hard once it gets on the ice cream like the coating of an ice cream bar. It says shake well, so I shake it and it comes out like it should and I eat it. Tastes like wood. Well, maybe I didnt shake it enough so I tried it again tonight. I shook it and it didnt sound full so I took top off and stuck a skewer into it and it was like clay. So I heat it in a pan of boiling water and its still not getting runny soft so Im about to cut open the bottle and see WTF is in there and then I notice the date..."Best used June 2017"! So this **** is over 2 years expired....The ingredients are basically coconut oil, sugar and chocolate. I guess the coconut oil got rancid or something? No harm, but I'm a little pissed that it was still on the shelf. Better than chugging out of a 4 week old milk carton!

Take it back to where u bought it and show them the date =$
 
Back in the summer we were going to make blooming onions with Outback dipping sauce. Our horse radish sauce was expired so... I'm off to the store. When I got to the register I told the cahier, "4 more bottles of this on the shelf. All expiration dates the same. 6 more days". I got the bottle in hand free and "thank you for the heads up" from the manager.
 
I had lunch one time at a family friends’ house who we was doing some work for. The cook had dementia and was raised on a farm. She was used to making stuff from scratch.

She cooked us “hamburgers”. I got a hamburger patty that was at least 2 inches thick. Not realizing the situation, I grabbed the ketchup bottle, never been opened. It looked darker than normal. I thought she’d made some barbecue sauce. I poured some on my patty and took a bite.:eek::eek::eek: That was not homemade barbecue sauce and that burger patty was basically raw in the middle. I did not clean my plate that meal.
 
well, if were sharing....I was at a friends apt in Hong Kong in '93 and I'm looking in the fridge for a beer. I see an Aussie Swan way in the back. I grab it and peel the top (!) and take a sip. Kinda skunky....I check the bottom of the can..1985... the beer was 8 years old. But you know, I had worse beer! C-rations dont count...cuz we found some 50's peaches on Camp Pendleton and they were still orange inside.
 
one night, after putting the kids to bed, im ready to turn in myself...but im also a bit thirsty
just not thirsty enough to pop open an entire can of pop and down it

so I open the fridge and look around, and wouldn't you know it?
there is a carton of orange juice, only 6 weeks past date and still about 1/3rd full
but come on, its orange juice, nothing but sugar, right?
so I take a sip and it tastes fine, and whats even better, its got pulp, I love pulp

so I finish it, and as is my custom, before tossing the carton in the recycling, I rinse it
as im rinsing it, im kinda reading the carton
"100 % juice"
"California oranges"
"no pulp"
"no preservatives added"


hold on, back up...no pulp?
that's no good

not sure what was floating in there, but it stayed down just fine
 
one night, after putting the kids to bed, im ready to turn in myself...but im also a bit thirsty
just not thirsty enough to pop open an entire can of pop and down it

so I open the fridge and look around, and wouldn't you know it?
there is a carton of orange juice, only 6 weeks past date and still about 1/3rd full
but come on, its orange juice, nothing but sugar, right?
so I take a sip and it tastes fine, and whats even better, its got pulp, I love pulp

so I finish it, and as is my custom, before tossing the carton in the recycling, I rinse it
as im rinsing it, im kinda reading the carton
"100 % juice"
"California oranges"
"no pulp"
"no preservatives added"


hold on, back up...no pulp?
that's no good

not sure what was floating in there, but it stayed down just fine
OJ goes 'bad': just take a sip of a breakfast glass sitting around until dinner time.......Don't know what it is but it gets weird.
 
Im striking out here guys...Wife pulled down the box of sugar cubes and asked, "are you still using these?" 'Uh, yeah..just this morning...' She showed me the box and it was full of ants! I just reached up and grabbed one so I never checked but I'd notice if there was an ant on it before I dropped it into the coffee mug. Sheesh! :-0
 
Im striking out here guys...Wife pulled down the box of sugar cubes and asked, "are you still using these?" 'Uh, yeah..just this morning...' She showed me the box and it was full of ants! I just reached up and grabbed one so I never checked but I'd notice if there was an ant on it before I dropped it into the coffee mug. Sheesh! :-0

did you explain to her how healthy they are?
that have all these little antie bodies
 
There was a Chinese gang jacking the shipments in NY, they were called the Wu-Tang clan.
 
You guys are a bunch of beginners at the expired food business. I found a batch of chili powder in the freezer dated 1972. :eek:
 
Like picking up a 1/3 full beer....from 3 days ago, unknowingly, and chugging it. Yum

Or like when I was out on a date with a hot girl back in school......we were at a party at a friend's house and she picked a beer can and chugged it. It was my buddies spit can. LMAO.
 
Like picking up a 1/3 full beer....from 3 days ago, unknowingly, and chugging it. Yum
Ya , I've done that , Set A new cold beer on the work bench , pick up the one from last week all black and full of moldie **** floating. As soon as it hits your tongue you know bad stuff is in there . To late.
 
Ya , I've done that , Set A new cold beer on the work bench , pick up the one from last week all black and full of moldie **** floating. As soon as it hits your tongue you know bad stuff is in there . To late.
Or it has butts in it. Barf!!!!
 
Tuesday night I bought some 'Magic shell' chocolate ice cream syrup, it turns hard once it gets on the ice cream like the coating of an ice cream bar. It says shake well, so I shake it and it comes out like it should and I eat it. Tastes like wood. Well, maybe I didnt shake it enough so I tried it again tonight. I shook it and it didnt sound full so I took top off and stuck a skewer into it and it was like clay. So I heat it in a pan of boiling water and its still not getting runny soft so Im about to cut open the bottle and see WTF is in there and then I notice the date..."Best used June 2017"! So this **** is over 2 years expired....The ingredients are basically coconut oil, sugar and chocolate. I guess the coconut oil got rancid or something? No harm, but I'm a little pissed that it was still on the shelf. Better than chugging out of a 4 week old milk carton!
According to Google: "A quality coconut oil will last up to 2 years without going rancid." Sounds like you are well past that date. Plus, who knows how old the oil was before the Magic Shell people mixed it together?
 
Im striking out here guys...Wife pulled down the box of sugar cubes and asked, "are you still using these?" 'Uh, yeah..just this morning...' She showed me the box and it was full of ants! I just reached up and grabbed one so I never checked but I'd notice if there was an ant on it before I dropped it into the coffee mug. Sheesh! :-0
Ants don't eat much.
 
You know the difference between OJ and Tang don't you?



Tang won't kill you! :rofl:
A reporter once asked OJ if he would ever marry again. He replied. "Yeah, I may take another stab at it."

Something to think about: There is an expression about life imitating art. How about art predicting life. 1972 marks the year an R&B soul group, the O'Jays had a hit with Back Stabbers, in 1978, they had another hit with Use ta Be My Girl. Nicole Simpson was murdered on 12 June 1994. Strange, but true, coincidence???
 
A reporter once asked OJ if he would ever marry again. He replied. "Yeah, I may take another stab at it."

Something to think about: There is an expression about life imitating art. How about art predicting life. 1972 marks the year an R&B soul group, the O'Jays had a hit with Back Stabbers, in 1978, they had another hit with Use ta Be My Girl. Nicole Simpson was murdered on 12 June 1994. Strange, but true, coincidence???
Right after the murder the PEZ Candy Company came out with the Nicole Brown Simpson Pez Dispenser. Just not right and bad taste I think LOL
 
A reporter once asked OJ if he would ever marry again. He replied. "Yeah, I may take another stab at it."


my wife asked me the other day what i would do without her
i said "baby, i'd go crazy"
so she said, would you get married again?
i said "not that crazy"
 
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