10 reasons cars are better than men

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Princess Valiant

A.K.A. Rainy Day Auto
Joined
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1. Your car doesn't talk back or disagree with you.

2. Your car doesn't get jealous when you want another one.

3. You can easily make changes to your car without resistance or disagreement.

4. Your car won't cheat on you with other drivers it picked up randomly.

5. Your car has an operators/ service manual so there are no misunderstandings

6. Cars don't get fat and lazy and sit in front of the TV all day and pretend to listen to you.

7. Turning on a car can be easy and you can make the motor stop easy when you're done with it.

8. Letting your best friend drive and ride your car isn't weird

9. You can easily make your car go, faster faster faster, or slower slower, slower. With a cruise control option.

10. You can stare at cars all day and not get in trouble.
 
Ouch! I couldn't get past number 1 :D
 
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1. Your car doesn't talk back or disagree with you.

2. Your car doesn't get jealous when you want another one.

3. You can easily make changes to your car without resistance or disagreement.

4. Your car won't cheat on you with other drivers it picked up randomly.

5. Your car has an operators/ service manual so there are no misunderstandings

6. Cars don't get fat and lazy and sit in front of the TV all day and pretend to listen to you.

7. Turning on a car can be easy and you can make the motor stop easy when you're done with it.

8. Letting your best friend drive and ride your car isn't weird

9. You can easily make your car go, faster faster faster, or slower slower, slower. With a cruise control option.

10. You can stare at cars all day and not get in trouble.

I see you have yet to find the right man.
 
You forgot
11. You can pick up random strangers in a bar and take them home and your car won’t think less of you.
 
Cats are better listeners.jpg
 
#13 your car wont mind if you fire it up in the garage and then just let it idle and shut it off without taking it for a spin
 
Top 30 Reasons Cars Are Better Than Women.

1. You can look at pictures of nice cars all you want to and not feel like a pervert.

2. You can lust after another car and your current car won't care.

3. You can hang any kind of car picture in your dorm room and not get in trouble.

4. Women can't go 200 miles per hour.

5. A woman can't carry four of your friends on a road trip.

6. You can replace your car any time you want and not feel bad.

7. A car doesn't have girlfriend cars that will talk about you and tell her that you are not good for her.

8. You can't install sub-woofers in a woman.

9. You can rub and wax a car in your driveway and not get arrested.

10.Car's don't care if you leave them in the garage overnight.

11.Cars don't care if you go on a trip for three weeks and don't call them.

12.If you are nice enough, your friends will almost always let you borrow their car.

13.You can get together with friends and compare cars and not sound like pigs.

14.Car's don't get mad at you for no reason every 28 days.

15.You can have two cars at once and they won't be jealous of each other.

16.Cars don't have relatives that you have to be nice to.

17.You can always test drive a car before making a commitment.

18.Car's come with an owners manual.

19.Your car does not care if you get fat and walk around with no shirt on.

20.You have 100% complete control over the direction of that car at all times.

21.You can stare at nice cars in a parking lot and your car won't care.

22.You can't put a bumper sticker that says "How's my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-S*IT!" on a woman.

23.Car's could not care less about commitment.

24.You don't mind too much if your friends always want a ride in your car.

25.If your car is being repaired, you can usually get a loaner car.

26.If you are 21, you can legally rent a car. 'Nuff said..

27.You can complain about how ratty your car looks and people think it's funny.

28.You can sell your car to a complete stranger and nobody will get mad at you.

29.A woman does not have keyless entry or remote ignition.

30.and finally.. There are 50 year old cars that still look good.

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I only had time for 30...
I gotta get started on my "honey do" list
 
1. Your car doesn't talk back or disagree with you.

2. Your car doesn't get jealous when you want another one.

3. You can easily make changes to your car without resistance or disagreement.

4. Your car won't cheat on you with other drivers it picked up randomly.

5. Your car has an operators/ service manual so there are no misunderstandings

6. Cars don't get fat and lazy and sit in front of the TV all day and pretend to listen to you.

7. Turning on a car can be easy and you can make the motor stop easy when you're done with it.

8. Letting your best friend drive and ride your car isn't weird

9. You can easily make your car go, faster faster faster, or slower slower, slower. With a cruise control option.

10. You can stare at cars all day and not get in trouble.
Ya got a chuckle out of that. However it sounds to me like the shoe is on the wrong foot.
 
Top 30 Reasons Cars Are Better Than Women.

1. You can look at pictures of nice cars all you want to and not feel like a pervert.

2. You can lust after another car and your current car won't care.

3. You can hang any kind of car picture in your dorm room and not get in trouble.

4. Women can't go 200 miles per hour.

5. A woman can't carry four of your friends on a road trip.

6. You can replace your car any time you want and not feel bad.

7. A car doesn't have girlfriend cars that will talk about you and tell her that you are not good for her.

8. You can't install sub-woofers in a woman.

9. You can rub and wax a car in your driveway and not get arrested.

10.Car's don't care if you leave them in the garage overnight.

11.Cars don't care if you go on a trip for three weeks and don't call them.

12.If you are nice enough, your friends will almost always let you borrow their car.

13.You can get together with friends and compare cars and not sound like pigs.

14.Car's don't get mad at you for no reason every 28 days.

15.You can have two cars at once and they won't be jealous of each other.

16.Cars don't have relatives that you have to be nice to.

17.You can always test drive a car before making a commitment.

18.Car's come with an owners manual.

19.Your car does not care if you get fat and walk around with no shirt on.

20.You have 100% complete control over the direction of that car at all times.

21.You can stare at nice cars in a parking lot and your car won't care.

22.You can't put a bumper sticker that says "How's my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-S*IT!" on a woman.

23.Car's could not care less about commitment.

24.You don't mind too much if your friends always want a ride in your car.

25.If your car is being repaired, you can usually get a loaner car.

26.If you are 21, you can legally rent a car. 'Nuff said..

27.You can complain about how ratty your car looks and people think it's funny.

28.You can sell your car to a complete stranger and nobody will get mad at you.

29.A woman does not have keyless entry or remote ignition.

30.and finally.. There are 50 year old cars that still look good.

/////////////////////

I only had time for 30...
I gotta get started on my "honey do" list
Oh you work for Honey Dew construction also. Lots of work in this outfit no money in it though
 
He shouldda had a Mopar.
The reason a car is better than a wife;
When your car stops pleasing you;
you can beat the snot out of it, sell it, neglect it, get rid of it, put/send her away, etc,
But before then,
I can do whatever I want to, with and to, my car; just about where ever I want to do it, and as often as I like to. I never have to play the fool, and it never calls me nasty names, or runs up my credit cards.
Every morning;
I just stab the key in, kick the go-pedal a couple of times, twist it, and she roars to life. I drive the heck out of her for a while, then bring her home, park her, and put the key back in my pocket; then she waits, right where I left her, patiently, and quietly, until the next time.
With a lil TLC;
she retains her good looks and winning personality thru the decades, and she never gets a headache. And best of all; she doesn't fart and snore all night, or ask me any trick questions like ; do these pants make me look fat?

King Solomon had 700 wives and concubines besides. That is more persons than live in my town. You know why Solomon had so many women? I'll tell ya; cuz the odds are astronomically against them all having a headache on the same evening.
I told my wife; I'm just like Solomon, in fact all men are; we just don't have the wherewithal to support so many women; and the law of the land limits us to just one wife. So you're it. I asked her; Yaknow; it is written; "therefore does a man leave his mother and father, and cleave to his wife"; what do you suppose this " therefore" is?

They say Solomon was the smartest man that ever lived.
Personally, I don't agree with that.
For all his wisdom,
IMO,
Solomon wasn't very smart at all;
He shouldda had a Mopar.
 
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King Solomon had 700 wives and concubines besides. That is more persons than live in my town. You know why Solomon had so many women? I'll tell ya; cuz the odds are astronomically against them all having a headache on the same evening.
I told my wife; I'm just like Solomon, in fact all men are; we just don't have the wherewithal to support so many women; and the law of the land limits us to just one wife. So you're it. I asked her; Yaknow; it is written; "therefore does a man leave his mother and father, and cleave to his wife"; what do you suppose this " therefore" is?
................................................

Hmmmm... Concubine, I had to look that up.

Now... Where can I get some ?
 
10 reasons guys love lady gearheads and lube. lol
 
Really! More religious services? Good Lord AJ!
Considering I’m in a car form, definitely not the line of thinking I was on!

You never did answer my question. What Christian religion is it your following?
 
Really! More religious services? Good Lord AJ!
Considering I’m in a car form, definitely not the line of thinking I was on!

You never did answer my question. What Christian religion is it your following?
.....................

And my question...
Where can I get some ?
 
Jokes, Funny Stuff, Anything Goes
PLease keep it semi clean - but post your funny stuff here
.......................................

Am I in the right place ???
 
You never did answer my question. What Christian religion is it your following?
Cuz it's a trick question,
like;
does this dress make me look fat.....
In 43 years of wedded bliss; two things I have learned;
wives are devious beyond understanding,and
they never loose a battle.
So I stay in my corner of the rooftop, and let her fuss and fume to her hearts content, and I only have to hear "you never listen to me", instead of having to deal countless times hearing about the time I called her a fatazz which I would never do. I mean 200 pounds ain't fat is it? I mean not in my mirror; I look great!

Really! More religious services? Good Lord AJ!
Considering I’m in a car form, definitely not the line of thinking I was on!
You asked ;
Who’s Soloman?
I answered.

@Dfr360cuda , carried the ball. I think he got my humor.
 
Cuz it's a trick question,
like;
does this dress make me look fat.....
Ummmm, no sir, it is not. Not at all.
If you are a Christian and you so say you are... then the question is explicit and simple bluntly put forth as straight as an arrow, as they say.

Roman Catholic, Pentecostal, Lutheran, etc....
 
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