You know you're a Redneck When?

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Mark Wainwright

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1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.


6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized, because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation
because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65
 
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.


6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized, because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation
because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65
Ya so what’s your point I’m a red neck going to have to call discrimination and racism on this post. I mean just because we use the sears catalog in the outhouse and I have no problem smashing a bud can on my forehead. That I think pot is something you cook in. The fact that I use a 7” Bowie knife to dig out my fingernails and cut my hair. Or the fact I can hit the spittoon dead on from 15 ft. Doesn’t give you the right to bad mouth me. :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::elmer:
 
Ya so what’s your point I’m a red neck going to have to call discrimination and racism on this post. I mean just because we use the sears catalog in the outhouse and I have no problem smashing a bud can on my forehead. That I think pot is something you cook in. The fact that I use a 7” Bowie knife to dig out my fingernails and cut my hair. Or the fact I can hit the spittoon dead on from 15 ft. Doesn’t give you the right to bad mouth me. :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::elmer:
Replace "bud" with PBR and we may have a winner
 
Ya so what’s your point I’m a red neck going to have to call discrimination and racism on this post. I mean just because we use the sears catalog in the outhouse and I have no problem smashing a bud can on my forehead. That I think pot is something you cook in. The fact that I use a 7” Bowie knife to dig out my fingernails and cut my hair. Or the fact I can hit the spittoon dead on from 15 ft. Doesn’t give you the right to bad mouth me. :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::elmer:
Oh ya forgot to mention the fact that grade 3 was the hardest 5years of my life
 
I am a proud long red haired redneck !
Mostly out of spite but it's an easygoing life
& I don't fit into any of those Stereotypes,
Good thing I'm a redneck or I'd get offended !
Lol
 

It’s like the man was in my head I’m the only person who has thought that.
Rules according to Hoey
1 only do one wrong thing at a time. ie drinking beer in car, not speeding seat belt on using signal lights
2 you don’t like my clothes and hair don’t bother looking
3 the most important rule of Hoey. If you would be minding your own business you wouldn’t be minding mine. nuff said
 
It’s like the man was in my head I’m the only person who has thought that.
Rules according to Hoey
1 only do one wrong thing at a time. ie drinking beer in car, not speeding seat belt on using signal lights
2 you don’t like my clothes and hair don’t bother looking
3 the most important rule of Hoey. If you would be minding your own business you wouldn’t be minding mine. nuff said
Yes sir, that sums it up perfectly. I can't get away with the 1 wrong thing at a time so I went straight and narrow. Too many trips to the slammer for drinking & druggin while driving, walking, riding, standing in the wrong place, bad attitude (thanks border Patrol) life is good though now !
 
Yes sir, that sums it up perfectly. I can't get away with the 1 wrong thing at a time so I went straight and narrow. Too many trips to the slammer for drinking & druggin while driving, walking, riding, standing in the wrong place, bad attitude (thanks border Patrol) life is good though now !
4C3EEF9C-6334-4C90-B55F-12D2E1093369.jpeg
One night years ago in this car me and my pal who runs 10.5 with this car now we’re leaving a major hwy intersection. We were about 1/2 mile from corner opposite direction traffic have stop sign with red flashing light on top facing them. Car behind us catching up fast pal looks in rear view says oh **** getting pulled over by cops. Had nothing to hide. He pulls over car goes wizzing by us. Pal looks in rear view red flashing light still there he said “we’ve just been pulled over by a stop sign
 
View attachment 1715714326 One night years ago in this car me and my pal who runs 10.5 with this car now we’re leaving a major hwy intersection. We were about 1/2 mile from corner opposite direction traffic have stop sign with red flashing light on top facing them. Car behind us catching up fast pal looks in rear view says oh **** getting pulled over by cops. Had nothing to hide. He pulls over car goes wizzing by us. Pal looks in rear view red flashing light still there he said “we’ve just been pulled over by a stop sign
Haha, that's funny stuff there.
 
View attachment 1715714326 One night years ago in this car me and my pal who runs 10.5 with this car now we’re leaving a major hwy intersection. We were about 1/2 mile from corner opposite direction traffic have stop sign with red flashing light on top facing them. Car behind us catching up fast pal looks in rear view says oh **** getting pulled over by cops. Had nothing to hide. He pulls over car goes wizzing by us. Pal looks in rear view red flashing light still there he said “we’ve just been pulled over by a stop sign
Bad *** scamp
 
You are a red neck if you think jeep parts belong on your mopar, breather for fresh cool air , I am a red neck :thankyou::thankyou::thankyou::thankyou:

Tim Morlin Visit 7 22 2010 017.jpg
 
My wife told our new neighbor "my husband is a mopar guy", neighbor lady said "oh, I love mopars, wife said " he loves them more than me".
She's not a redneck but she's okay.
Puts up with my redneckeries
 
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