need your advice with my small electrical problem

I have a BWD s5049p solenoid as my ignition relay. Since i do not have keys as an ignition, im using a small rocker switch to engage the relay to turn everything on in the car. My problem is that this relay does get hot and there are times where if i turn the car off and then try to turn the car back on the relay does not want to latch. it will stay in the open position. This is the second bwd relay to do this to me. (I got it from checker auto since its a lifetime warranty)

Here is a break down of amperage for all electrical circuits in my car:
fuel pump-2amp
low beams-9amp
high beams-10amp
radio-7->10amp (depending on volume)
ignition (without out anything else turned on)-5amp
each fan-25amp

I am running a 100amp alternator so i know at times my alternator will be working 100% of the time to keep the voltage up. I know i should get a higher amp alternator to cope with my electronics.

What else could be causing my ignition relay to stick? Should i try a different brand?

When i hooked an amp meter in place of the ignition relay and have one fan, fuel pump, radio, and high beams on i'm only pulling 8amps with a spike of 13 amps i saw once. So Im lost as to why this relay is getting hot and being faulty. I thought that maybe since i have so much electronics that i was pulling a lot of the amperage through the relay but again i only saw 8 amps where the relay would be for the ignition. This was also with the motor not running.