e-bag selling questions

After allmost 6 years of searching for parts on e-bay ( affectionally known as YA- BUT)
I have had people ask me the following set of favorites too many times to remember: I have listed the idiotic questions and my comparable answers ( when in rome)
Background NOTE: all of my ads have multiple pictures at various angles, all of my ads have the words "I do not deliver." all of my ads have specific pricing details and exactly what I will accept and not accept. etc etc point is my ads are pretty specific...
njoy!!
1. Q. Exactly how much rust is on the car? A. About this much
2. Q. What is the absolute lowest price you will take? A. What is the absolute highest price you will pay?
3. Q. Does that need RESTORED? A. NO it needs to BE restored
4. Q. How far will you drive to deliver the part? A. How far will you drive to pick it up?
5. Q. I know your ad says PAYPAL only but will you take a personal check for half and paypal for the rest? A. Sure you can send me the full amount on PayPal and the bonus via personal check
6. Q. I know it says you do not ship overseas, but will you ship to India? A. NO
( getting tired of it)
7. Q. Your ad says the tires have 10/32 left on them...how much is that?? A. 10/32 Q. is that good? A. to some
8. Q. Can I have your number? A. Q. Can I have yours? QA. NO!
9. Q. WIll you take HALF if I offer cash? A. If you offer the full amount, Sure!
10. Q. the car in the pictures is RED...do you have a blue ONE? a. YES for an additional 3k!

I have a saved file of them that I review ocassionally ( very) when I need a laugh..... dont get angry.....just smile and respond..... Just like when the window sales people call me on Sunday at 6pm asking if I am interested in replacement windows.... I smile and say SURE.... I will be out of prison in 2 years and I am certain my house will need them by then, can you call me back? click LOL

My point is dont get mad...you are dealing with people that have more money & time than brains..... just answer and move on, someone will buy your stuff and likely give you a decent price for it......patience