Dividend day in AK......... A good time to stay home.....

For some of you that don't know, Alaska has a thing called a dividend check, it's a share from the oil revenues, set up after the slope was drilled, because unlike other states, in Alaska, you don't own the mineral rights of your land. Anyway, it is a time where the haven't been washed in ten years plastic back window dented up cig smoke stained minivans come out of the woods, and head to Wal Mart for big screen TV's, and Dink Doink games. People got a 1200$ check this year, and, on the 7th of this month, LOST THEIR MINDS! God warned me to stay home, next time I'll listen. Here's a timeline of my day, my wonderful dividend day..........



7:30am..... Left the jake brake on all night in the Dually, battery was dead.
8:00am Hook up to mixer trailer, it has two flat tires...... Decide to drain oil in mixer, take tires off, and head to tire shop.
9:30am, put fixed tire and new tire on trailer, add oil, start mixer motor and pull rope breaks, take apart, whole recoil is junk
10:30am Find that a 7/8 socket fits over the one way clutch for the recoil. Weld a bolt on a 7/8 socket, just to find out only the 12pt socket fits........
11:00am Go to hardware store, to get 7/8 12pt, and adaptor to out in a cordless drill to start mixer. Wasilla is crazy, people all over, driving like mad, road is smoking from all the still burning cig butts flicked out the windows.
12:00 return home, chuck up drill, start mixer, all good, ready to go.
12:30 Arrive at suppliers yard, just to find out he went home sick.
1:00 return home, grab welder, bandsaws, and head out to do something else.
2:00 While at Home depot, some asshole stole BOTH bandsaws out of my truck, head to hardware store to get new one, in a temper tantrum because traffic is stupid.
2:30, at job with new Bandsaw, damn thing don't work, brand new, don't make a peep.... Screw it, I'm giving up and going home!
3:10 While waiting for a middle school bus to let kids off in the other lane facing me, in front of the elementary school my kids attend, while the kids getting off the bus are crossing the road in front of me, in a school zone, with the 20MPH lights flashing, some dumb chick, in a state owned van, rear ends me, at like 50MPH. Hit me pretty hard, hard enough that with both feet on the brake (because of the kids in front of me, and I saw her coming) the truck jumped in the air, and landed 20' away, and skidded with the wheels locked up for anther 30'. It drove the ball on the reciever hitch into the engine block of the van, blew the scale off the frame at every bend, popped the radiator outlet out of the radiator, and even though the body was not touched, the bed hit the cab on the drivers side....... Now, the frame in the back of my truck is tweaked some, hitch is bent a bit down, and to the drivers side, I have a couple new rattles and squeaks, and I took the headrest out with my head.....

Then the headaches started...... I have had a heacache since the 7th, and now it seems I have a spinal fluid leak at the base of my skull.........




Next year, when dividends come out, I am closing the gate, locking the doors, and putting out all the fires and pilot lights!