Captainkirk's Duster project
Chapter 3
Yank my Crank!
Now that I had the object of my desire in my hands, the whole damn reason I'd begun this crusade in the first place,
the crank.
I looked it over carefully. Yes, it was a rough piece of metal, not nearly as smooth as the cast crank I'd pulled out of the Minx Motor. But it felt heavier, somehow; more solid. It might be my imagination, but I don't think so. The journals had some minute wear-grooves on them; they'd need work, but definitely salvageable. My greatest fear of mousie-outhouse-induced corrosion was non-existent. After twenty five years of sitting, there wasn't a speck of rust on the crank, anywhere.
The next Saturday I loaded the crank up and shot up to see Tony. I walked in cradling this thing wrapped in a towel like a newborn baby, and I didn't even have to set it down on the counter for Tony to I.D. it. Tony took one look at it and said, "Oh yeah, that's definitely a forged crank. Nice piece!" Wow. I'd hit the Mother Lode this time!
Tony called me the next day and said the crank had miked out fine; he'd have to grind it .010 under though, to remove the grooves. I gave him the go-ahead, silently wondering which bank I should rob. Now I had TWO cranks ground 10-under. I inquired about the flashing present on the counterweights. Tony said that it wouldn't really hurt anything, but that cleaning it up would help the crank weights to shed oil; that is, prevent oil from clinging to the counterweights at higher RPM. I asked him to hold off on grinding the flashing off of the crank; that I'd like to do that part myself as I knew it was a fairly simple, yet labor-intensive job. And it needed to be done before the assembly was balanced. He concurred, and I drove up Wednesday and picked up the crank I'd just delivered.
I ground off as much flash as I dared, and smoothed the rough surfaces of the weights. I used a carbide bit (a.k.a. 'Screaming Ball Of Death') and coarse (brown) RoLoc discs, as well as hand files. In the end, I guess I did about as much metal removal as anyone would have dared to, under the circumstances (those being that I was just guessing at this whole process). After all, I didn't want to weaken it or throw the balance off. Then I wrapped it back up in its swaddling clothes like a little forged steel papoose and ran it back up to Tony again.
***
It wasn't long before I got another phone call from Tony. I think they should make a telephone with a ring tone of a cash register. Every time he called
..
Cha-ching! Sorta like Automatic checking. Perhaps I should have just left my ATM card with him
..
Seems the flywheel I'd brought him, off the '69 had been polished and cleaned up
, and had many, many little cracks over the surface. He said it would probably be fine for pass car useage
but NOT a 400 HP street/strip motor. Big sigh.
How much is a new one?
Tony figured around two/two-fifty for a Hays flywheel.
Cha-ching! I told him I'd get back to him the next day.
Now, this really sucked. I couldn't use the Minx's flywheel because it was for a
cast crank; the bolt pattern and balancing were different. Now, don't ask me how or why, but if you'll go back and look at my pix of the Buell on the lift, in one of them you can just barely make out the '69 motor on the garage floor in the background. And perched on top of it is a..
.flywheel?
Yep. A flywheel. I'm not even sure where it came from. Most likely from the Valiant Little 318 That Could. The Late Sixties 318 that could. As in
forged, not cast, crank? Do we have a donor match? Why, yes, doctor. It's a match. Now, what are the odds of that? Probably about the same as a mouse getting inside a cylinder with the heads still bolted on, but
stranger things HAVE happened. We have proof
..
After many weeks of waiting, I finally got the phone call from Tony. The block, crank, rods and pistons were ready for pickup. The flywheel atop the
Motel d' Mousie I'd found, along with being a donor match, was in excellent condition. Now all I had to do was figure out how to pay for it. The original, simple quote for the lower end machining along with rings and bearings, had escalated from an easy $350.00 to a whopping $900.00. And that wasn't really in the budget
.
***
It never is, is it? In the budget, I mean. That's why this project is on the five year plan. With an option to extend. That's right. I'm in no hurry to get this thing done, even though I am.
What!? What I meant to say was, I won't let my blind ambition get ahead of my spending ability. We discussed this before. Besides, that allows me time to spin these amusing yarns. If I had an unlimited bank account, I'd be working on the car all the time instead of writing amusing short stories. Rather, I enjoy plugging away at my project, doing as much of the work myself as possible, shooting pictures up the wazoo and doing play-by-play anecdotes for all of you to share. Sort of like telling campfire tales, if you will. (without the marshmallows). And campfire tales are free, not to mention fun. But moving on
...
I finally managed to scrape up enough money to go pick up my parts from Tony. I felt like Lincoln, freeing the slaves. Or Moses leading his people out of bondage, Tony being Pharaoh. And we parted the Red Sea (the covers of my checkbook) and crossed the desert in my beat-up Jeep Cherokee and I brought my people forth from bondage down into the basement workshop where it was warm. (and not 14 degrees, which was the high today)!
Now, wait a minute, you're thinking. Didn't you do this basement thing once before? You and that Howard guy?
(
Damn your sharp memory!)
Ahh
, yes. BUT
...there's a method to my madness this time. See, I can do all the assembling and ring-fitting and bearing Plasti-gauging, and all that crap in the basement, in relative warmth and comfort, then mark and disassemble everything and bag it. When warmer weather breaks and my K-frame is back in the car, I can reassemble things out in the garage knowing it will all fit. Now, I hope I won't be writing amusing stories about this next year, because it sounds like a perfectly good plan at this particular point in time, but then they always do, don't they?
***
So what's in YOUR wallet? I'll tell you whats in mine
..a bunch of moths, that's what. Now usually, I'm the kinda guy who, when he opens his wallet, Washington squints at the light because hes been in the dark so long. Well, all my Dead Presidents have gone to live at Tony's house now, and it will be interesting to see how this affects the project. If I were to do everything on this motor the way I want to, it may be a long time coming. If I don't, I may not be happy with the end results. For example; I had decided a couple weeks ago that I wanted a six-pack induction setup. In the worst way, I might add. All well and fine. There are several places that sell complete smallblock packages for as little as $1,700.00. Now, thats a chunk of change to spend on an induction system. For that matter, its a chunk of change to spend on anything. But even more so if you have other (rather important) engine work left to do, such as heads, cam and lifter selection, ignition upgrades, etc. And I haven't even mentioned the rest of the car yet! See where I'm going with this? So I'm realizing that, while I'd love to have the ultimate car of my dreams, I'm going to have to make some compromises and sacrifices along the way. Because I don't have another thirty years to play with. By then I'll probably be maneuvering about in a Hoveround, trying to get to the bathroom before I pee in my Depends.
So I'm changing the game plan some; I still need to build a 12-second motor; that much I've established. A
bad-*** motor, no doubt. Better than the last one; nothing less will do. But not at the expense of never finishing it. I need to keep reminding myself that the Li'l red minx was damn near a twelve-second car
..thirty years ago. As was The Duke after the minx motor transplant. Hopefully any improvements I make this time round will go one better. So, I'll have to economize and adapt as I go along. And for now, that means the six pack gets shelved. $1,700.00 will buy a lot of engine parts.
You gonna pull them pistols, or whistle Dixie?
Clint Eastwood, The Outlaw Josie Wales
***
