saved me...................

Jim, you mentioned that you have an emptiness that you are trying to fill. Alcohol is the wrong filling. You feel bad for some reason, so you drink. Imagine how much worse you will feel if you kill some innocent person or family.

You have to come to grips with what is bothering you, and deal with it. Many others have been in your place. Some have chosen to go with God. Others have taken up a hobby, or became volunteers for a noble cause. Become a body builder, or a Big Brother. Take up Martial Arts, Yoga, photography, or building model cars. These are just a few examples of outlets, but there is a whole world of almost limitless options available out there for you. Find something, or several things, that you really enjoy, and throw yourself into it/them. You need to sit down and really have a heart to heart with someone about this. Drinking is not a solution. It is just another problem.

We all have problems. I havent been able to find a decent job in over two years, and have two young kids, and a daughter in college. My situation bothers me greatly, yet I dont turn to drinking. Most of us aren't famous or rich. We will never be able to have all of the material things that we want, but inner peace is available to everyone. You just have to find what does it for you. And its not always easy to do, but looking for it is better than killing yourself and/or someone else.

I have friends that are alcoholics. They never get over the thirst, but they are strong enough to resist the desire. Be strong. Your answer is out there. Dont let it pass you by because you are too drunk to see it. If talking to friends and family doesnt help, seek professional help through AA or counseling. There is no shame in that. Dont let false pride keep you from finding that inner peace that you so desperately need.

And always remember: "The First One, IS The Worst One!"