Steering coupler seal retainer....how to?

So today I drop the steering column, rebuild the steering coupler in the engine compartment, get it all back together with just the seal retainer to seat the tabs down.....what a :banghead: mess that turned into. Ended up tearing the seal. :angryfir:

So what's the trick to bending these 8 small tabs down successfully and have the retainer stay put?