Cheap Bastard Awards

Back when I was married to my 1st wife- we were really dirt poor. I had to borrow the neighbors lawn mower to mow my lawn. he bought a new mower and gave me his old one that i would borrow. He said it's hard to start. After having it a few months- it got harder and harder to start. Couldn't even buy a new spark plug at the time much less go out for it(gas wise) I had no gas to mow but did have some Everclear in the shed from a party the summer before. Dumped some down the carb and the rest in the tank.... after throwing grass about 2 ft up the side of the house (no catcher), clipping the railroad ties next to the garden and nipping a good chuck of concrete out of where the propane tank sat out back for cooking- I officially burned it up. Was back to borrowing the neighbors NEW mower until we got on our feet.