Cheap Bastard Awards

i get splenda from any coffee shop, and every time i go to a movie because my kids i stop at at cosco and get hot dogs and sodas to sneak in the food. I get mad at my girlfriend when she goes shopping and doesnt go to the 99 cent store first. I showed my girl how to drive effiencently meaning drive slow till you reach the proper speed. Im surprised she hasn't gotten a ticket yet for impeeding traffic. But hey at least she got 255 miles to half a tank.