What are your favorite/most interesting sayings, aphorisms, metaphors, similes,etc.

Keep an open mind.
Because your mind is like a parachute.
If it ain't open, it don't work.

If you want it, I got it.
If I don't got it, I'll get it.
If I can't get it, you don't need it.

Happier than a three legged man in an *** kicking contest.

Happier than two pigs in ****.