What are your favorite/most interesting sayings, aphorisms, metaphors, similes,etc.

Hotter than a freshly fornicated fox in a forest fire wearing insulated underwear.
hotter than two rats F*#@ing in a wool sock
colder than a witch's titty in a brass brazier
its dryer than a popcorn fart
smells worse than a dead skunk getting a perm in front of a sewage plant.
worthless as a one legged man in an *** kicking contest