What are your favorite/most interesting sayings, aphorisms, metaphors, similes,etc.

That's the way the mop flops
If the dog hadn't stopped to take a ****, he'd of caught the rabbit..
In regards to how this country is run lately, looks like we've put the cart before the horse
Looks like the tail is wagging the dog
Our government, useless as tits on a bull
Useless as balls on priest
functions like a Ford