What are your favorite/most interesting sayings, aphorisms, metaphors, similes,etc.

"Looked like her face caught fire an was put it out with an icepick and a bag of nickles"

"Movin like his head was on fire an his *** was catchin"

"Hard tellin not knowin"

"Fixin that is like puttin lipstick on a pig"

"Rectum?...Damn near killed him"

"Check It or Wreck It"

"She's so hot, I'd eat a pound of her **** just to see if she had corn for dinner"