Why the He** doesnt my tranny mount up?

Are you sure that you have the right mount brackets that bolt to the engine ears? I'm not sure what you are referring to with the "biscuit mounts". You need the early style 67 - 72 engine mount brackets and rubber mounts bolted to the rear of the mounting ears on the block. The LEFT mount is different for the 340/360 than the 273/318. The right side is standard for all small block engines.