My Kid is in the "Dawghouse" over "Bacon"

I like to cook -- and LOVE bacon -- but I think I'd get halfway through that weave process and want to pitch it across the room. We all know that bacon stretches uncontrollably when raw. How does he get it so uniform and pretty??

I'm with C on the minimal-penalty call. You could've had a teenage girl instead ........ enjoying life spent on the phone or at the mall. :-D