Wow. I feel like crap!

Long time smoker, to long. Quit with the chantix because I had to. One day when I was shaving I found a lump in my neck about the size of a grape. After all sorts of tests finally had a biopsy. Result cancer. The lump was like a collecting place, they were looking for where if originated. Decided that tonsils might be suspect, so at 50 yrs old had to get tonsils out before surgery to remove lump and 6 months of chemo and radiation. They put me on chantix and I quit, had no choice because the tonsilectomy was absoulutely horrible and couldn't smoke. Stayed smoke free through the treatments and for a while afterwards. The day that my boss and friend of 16 years was killed when his jeep was hit by a tractor trailer I started smoking again. He had almost died a few years earlier, had a pacemaker put in and was supposed to quit smoking and used to say what the heck you're going to die from something, and he liked smoking and didn't want to quit. Tried chantix again for a while, didn't keep with it. If I was employed and had health insurance I'd go to the dr. and get a script and try it again. It gave my really vivid and odd dreams. After being on it for a while I'd wake at night with wierd feelings in my legs, like restless leg syndrome. It made me real bitchy and argumentive. But I'd try it again. It was never covered under insurance and was soooo expensive, that barely getting by on unemployment dosen't leave the funds for the inital outlay. Good luck I wish you the best. Someday I hope to be there (smoke free) again.