Lost my lil' bubba 12/12/12

On of my two cats died on Wednesday and I just can't blame anyone but me because I'm such a cheap sob.

Panda's a long hair cat that's been having problem's with his fur matting and knotting. Usually he'll start to pull on them and eventually I could snip them off. Well it got to the point where they were out of control and there was no way get them all. I kept putting off getting him shaved. Never enough time, I'll get on it tomorrow. Always a damn excuse. Friends even told me to get it done before the knots got too tight and would pinch his skin.

Last Friday I noticed a small area where Panda was bald. He was pulling the fur from his skin. He was raw. I called every groomer I could and none of them would shave a cat. I called the vet to see if they knew anyone that could do it. They could do it but they were all booked up - unless I paid the $100 emergency fee then they would have an opening for him. So I made an appointment for Monday afternoon. They told me not to feed Panda for a day because they would likely have to knock him out to do it and food would upset his stomach when he came out of it. I stopped feeding him Sunday night at 6:00pm. Besides the shave both cats were over-due for their shots and I'd get that done too.

But the last few months Panda has had a strong appetite. He could never get enough food. He would eat all his food - wet only - and want more, and more, and more. Then when I'd quit giving him more, I'd catch him in his brother's dish eating the wet/dry mix. It got to the point where he'd want food almost every hour. I thought it was odd but shrugged it off. I purposely didn't go home after my morning delivery run so I wouldn't have to listen to him whine for food. I went and did a bunch of errands until it was time to go see the vet at 2:30 pm.

At the vet's Panda went ballistic as soon as the vet went to check him out. Now both my cats don't really like people except for my ex g/f and me. But Panda was going nuts with teeth and claws faster than a ninja. I've never ever seen him do that. We get him back in the cage and the vet starts telling me that Panda is all skin and bones under the matted fur. They weight the cats when you go in and the vet tells me Panda is less than 5 pounds. What??? No way. Panda's always been a featherweight compared to his brother Tigger who weighs over 20 lbs.

Panda is taken to the back to get knocked out and shaved. The vet tells me to forget the shots and spend the money on blood work instead. He tells me the matting, voracious appetite and low weight is either from diabetes or a thyroid problem. My reaction -great, more freaking money I don't have. Tigger checks out fine, gets his shot and we go home. They'll call me when I can pick up Panda. All the while I can still hear Panda going ape$#!+ in the back room.

Monday: I pick Panda up at 7:30pm and when we get back home, he won't go near his food or water. I figure his stomach is upset from the anesthesia they used but it's been 24 hours since he's had anything. He'll eat when he's ready I tell myself.

Tuesday: Before I go to work around 2:00am I usually give Panda a squirt of food. He didn't want any. I get home from work at 9:00am and he's still not eating. I'm getting concerned. I sleep during the day and when I get up at 5:00pm he's still not eating. I try a fresh can of food and he walks away. I open a can of Tuna and squeeze the juice on a plate for him. He's lapping it up like there's no tomorrow and as I tell him "good boy", it was like he caught himself and then he stopped and walked away. Like he was mad at me for having him shaved. I go out and help a friend move some stuff with my van and go home. Panda refuses to eat. I cook a porkchop for myself and the cats love table scraps. Panda refuses it. I go to the store and get some yogurt and ice cream - stuff Panda just loves. He refuses that too. He just walks around the apartment restless and meowing. Not a painful meow just a "look what you did to me" kind of thing. I go to bed at 11:00pm. Work in a few hours.

Wednesday: I get up at 2:00am and Panda's laying in the bathtub meowing. Again he just seems restless. Still won't eat and wanders around the apartment. I check on him before I go out the door. He's under my bed meowing. I pull him out from under the bed and he tries to jump on the bed and falls over. That's not right. I pick him up and place him on my bed, then I go to work. I load my van, head across town to load up some drivers that are waiting for me and when that's done I can go home unless there's a run for me to cover or there's a problem somewhere. Just as I get home, my cell rings. There's a driver broke down, pick him and his load up and drive him around. I never went up to check on Panda. Get home at 6:30am between runs ( I do a separate 2 hour run around 7:00am ) and Panda's laying on the floor. Can't get a hold of the vet. I leave him some water hoping he'll have a drink and I go do the run. I keep trying the vet every 10 minutes. Finally get someone at 8:30am. They tell me to bring Panda in at 9:30am. We get there and they take him in the back to check his blood sugar levels. As I'm talking to the vet who now mentions euthanizing Panda, the lab tech runs in a mentions cardiac arrest. The vet runs out. He comes back a few minutes later and asks me what he should do. I'm freaking. YOU FIX HIM!!!! He leaves for a while and comes back telling me there's no response and what do I want to do. KEEP ^*$^*&$%% GOING!!!!! He comes back a few minutes later and brings me to Panda. There's an oxygen tube down his throat, iv lines in both front legs, they're giving him shots and a man and woman are taking turns pumping his heart. As soon as I saw Panda's eyes I knew he was gone. I told them to stop. I went back to examining room where they brought him to me to say goodbye. I started bawling like a baby.

As a kid I've had dogs and cats before and it was never a problem when their time was up. But this little guy got to me. He was always laying between my boots and shoes when I'd go to work. He'd move as I'd put them on and as I'd go out the door he'd meow to me. If he wasn't at the front door when I'd get home, he'd come out from the bedroom all dopey-eyed and meowing as he went to the kitchen to be fed.

Turns out he had what the vet calls a super-hyperactive thyroid. His metabolism was way off the chart. His little body was consuming itself and that's why I couldn't keep him fed. There were times when he was literally vibrating as he was devouring his food. So these last two days all I've been doing is blaming myself for not getting his shots sooner -they would have caught this. Why didn't I get him shaved sooner - they would have caught this. Why didn't I pay the extra emergency fee on Friday - they would have caught this. Why didn't I bring Panda back on Tuesday instead of Wednesday. Evert time I feed Tigger he keeps looking down the hall for Panda but he's not coming.

I really miss him and this big tough guy is still blubbering like a baby.



Wylde1.