Marriage/relationship question

Ive been married for 23 years. There are definitely ups and downs in that department. Women are different than men, they need to feel loved, cherished etc, etc, etc before their switch goes on in that area. With kids it gets really complicated and the business of life will get in the way. I am not the best at this but you need to spend time with your spouse making her believe she is the most important thing in your world. Easy to say, hard to do........