Depression

Yep , same here . Mary understands I'm not being mean when I say " turn around - walk away " . A lot of my problems stem from things associated with my military career , a few I've had since childhood . But , as I've gotten older and wiser I've learned that keeping busy with a hobby that I enjoy , or just reading a book puts my mental stability in check until the pounding in my head subsides , and the flashbacks go back in the recesses of my mind where they belong . Cliff , I aam hoping to help , or at least encourage you to not give up , or give in , to fight your way out of the state of mind that keeps its grip on your very soul . Something as simple as building a model is so much relief to me , the transition is amazing after even an hour or so of model building . If you can find something simple like this , something you can be passionate about , you won't believe the results . Trust me on this , dude . It works , and its real . Hope this helps somehow .