Tuning with jets, Power valves and an O2 guage

I've been thinking over the past few days that maybe I really do need to reduce the compression. All of this stuff with bigger cams, reduced ignition timing, high octane fuel, race fuel....
It would have been better to drop my compression ratio to 9.5 to 9.8 and run a milder cam. I could have run 89 octane. I could have driven it in Arizona at 120 degrees and hammer it without trouble. These claims of...." Well, I have run 11.0 to 1 on pump gas..." may be true, but I must have really screwed up to have this much trouble.
I've been working out of town and have yet to take the car out since replacing the intake gaskets. I sent an email to Don at FBO. He pretty much considered my combo a mess. Too heavy vehicle for the converter I have, too big a cam for the converter, "race" cam that won't make any power until 3500 coupled with an GV overdrive.....
He suggested several things including a smaller cam. I am as confused as ever.