Simply stopped

All, thanks for your posts. :prayer:
I actually do know how to troubleshoot but wasn't there mentally when first working on it (on the street, homework due in a masters course, middle of the day when I should be at work, etc.) I read all your posts and spent time this weekend with my meter and got it running.

What was it? The alternator. :banghead:
"...but... you said that didn't fix the problem." Yeah, I did. Seems that 'attached' isn't the same thing as 'being attached and properly grounded'.

My hypothesis:
Like I said, I was on the street and didn't have all my tools, so couldn't cut the steel sleeve to mount it. So I had it in the circuit and was bridging the solonoid and battery terminals and the starter would turn, so that led me down a wrong path, thinking it was the starter relay that was bad. But as I understand it now, the relay depends on the 12v from the alternator to trigger; so although there was 12v to the battery terminal on the relay and 5v in the dashboard lights, energy on the low volt side of the relay is in circuit with the alternator. I think.

Could someone confirm I got that right? If I didn't then I still haven't got it fixed, simply 'jiggled' the right connection and needlessly spent $60 on a new alternator.