Why is oil coming out of these?

My bets the valve covers too. Every aluminum cover I have are notched. if the gaskets not permanently stuck could you loosen the intake and slide a small square of flat beer can to block off the hole like people do with heat risers. Just an idea.
I am going to shoot a video of this leak so y'all don't think I am crazy. Oil is spewing out. This isn't a leak. The oil comes out like a geyser!