What would cause this weird bearing wear?

Snake Oil
Seriously, not a joke and I have some here.
Dark candy red and real thick and sticky.

Crap makes a absolute mess!

To me it sounds like the op has 2 options. Go buy a stroker kit and have fun or just go get a new crank. Personally I would go with option number one. Just kidding!

I wouldn't get too worked up about it man. These threads can cause people to panic. I would take the crank back to the machine shop and get it checked out. If everything looks good then get some engine assembly lube and throw it back together. I have heard of people getting a bad set of bearings and it going south quick.

Take your time and triple check all clearances also. Good luck :)