Married guys - car budgets and honesty

I definitely understand where your coming from RamCharger. Married for 11 years, We both work hard, and bring home good money, she brings home more. Joint account for personal, but actually have several accounts for the business, IRS, etc.

I was using the debit card for car parts after checking the balance, she would too for her stuff, then we'd realize that we're overdrawn. Those fees were KILLING me. I was so pissed because the money was already sitting in another account, ready to transfer.

That drove us to using strictly cash, but we made sure we had a realistic amount for the entire month, several hundred. Doing that simple change to cash changed everything for me, my wife, and our expenses. It made the money more "real" if you will. I felt like a kid again, i would start to hoard my cash; I became possessive with it, not wanting to spend it on stupid stuff, but conversely, really appreciating the car parts when they did arrive.

I would hold a hundred dollar bill aside in my dresser, then when i went to buy headers, i would run to the bank, deposit the money, then quickly make the purchase. I ate out at lunch less often, stopped online shopping as often.

Look RamCharger, it's your life too. As long as you don't beat her, and come home drunk every night, your good. You deserve to be happy; cars do it for you, she likes something else. But as you know, your situation is not going to change, so move to a cash budget, set some aside slowly, then buy when your ready, it's exactly what your doing now, your just taking the "evasive" nature away from your discussions with your wife. Win win. Good luck.