my hemi keeps eating its lifters..

Sounds to me like you should just decide which lifters you want to use and measure for a new set of pushrods. I use Smith Bro's, they'll custom make any length you want with pretty much any kind of ends you need.

But seriously, it sounds like you've been mixing and matching lifters and pushrods, and that usually doesn't end well. How big of a cam is in that thing? Do you know the spring pressures? What rockers are you running?