so what is the best balancing method

Most wheel balancers are accurate to within a gram or less. One ounce at 60 mph exerts a force of 5 pounds on the heavy side of the tire. One ounce is 28.349 grams or .17 pounds at 60 mph. That's close enough for most everything on the road today. I haven't read every word of this thread but did you spin the wheels on the balancer without the tires. I have a pair of 15x7 small bolt rallys that have runout. All the balancing in the world won't make them smooth.