My neighbor just brought his oil pump priming shaft over. This is what I found, spinning the shaft very quickly with a Briggs & Stratton el-cheapo drill:
All the good "passenger side" lifters spray oil with a steady 2.5" long stream, regardless of location on the engine (half of them are on the driver's side right now as a test).
The old "driver's side" lifters - the cause of all this in the first place - spray oil steadily for a second, then lose pressure almost immediately and just dribble.
The latest lifters that I bought - a set of four Melling JB2225's - hardly dribble at all. I also tried priming one of the Mellings with an old pushrod in my drill press. No difference.
Since the priming shaft elimintated the need for the camshaft to be spinning, I also tried spinning the Melling lifter 90 degrees, so the oil hole location would be oriented like the old lifters. No change. I tried spinning it 360 degrees as well, while priming. Barely a dribble.
I'm really beginning to believe that between the Sealed Power and Melling pushrods, I've been sold 12 lemons today.
Also shot footage on the GoPro - will post it soon as I can export it.