Things are tough all over...

The economy is so bad that:
1. I received a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
2. CEOs are now playing miniature-golf.
3. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
4. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
5. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
6. A picture is now only worth 200 words.
7. They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street".
8. Finally, I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck!