idle dies

The three things that control hot idle speed are; T-port sync, secondary cracking screw, and ignition advance.
If you cannot get the idle speed down, and these three are tuned, then she is getting air somewhere.
I would start with proving the TDC mark.(your idle-timing is fine)
Then,I would set the T-port sync
And then I would control the idle speed by the secondary cracking screw.

BTW; the idle timing has the biggest control. So if the T-port is synced, and the secondaries are closed up tight(short of sticking), and you have proven that she is not getting air from any other source, then back up the timing.

The following line;" but in gear, and it takes a moment or idle to lower down before goes into gear, too high of idle won't go into gear until around 1000 rpms or so. " tells me your transfers are likely feeding when they ought not to be. Dry 'em up