Stupid looking POS

He's trying . Take him under your wing and show him whats up. Start by doing a smoky burnout with your car in front of his driveway.

Already done both of those, but I don't like it when you are trying to show someone something and they just won't shut up and listen.
My Dad used to say "Your ears are in neutral when your mouth is in gear"

One day he was over there working on his old car and you could hear him mumbling and cussing under his breath so I went over to see what was up.
He tells me this is the third valve cover gasket set he has put on and they all leak.
I see the gasket split and smashed out from under the cover at every bolt, so he was wrenchin those things down like they were lug nuts or something. (surprised he didn't snap them off in the head)
I made him go get another set and showed him how to do it, and it never even seeped a wet spot the rest of the time he had the car.
I also found out he paid someone to put new lifters in the engine TWICE, because of ticking at idle when the problem was actually too low of oil pressure from just being wore the hell out. (the mechanic he was using told him it must be some bad lifters) TWICE.

Then he found out I have a mig/gas setup and wanted me to put hydraulics on it for him, but I refused and told him I didn't have time OR the interest to get involved in other peoples big projects.

We have 6 car here, so everyone comes to me with every little frickin complaint about their car.
"I hear a click when I turn a corner"
"Something under my dash rattles when I go over bumps"
"My brakes squeaked yesterday"

Sometimes I tell them if whatever it is get's bad enough it will fall off and then they will know for sure what it is. :D