Slow learner...

Sounds like you got a decent grasp or awareness on things Doug. I have a brother inlaw who just doesnt want to recongnize something isn't right. Won't accept any help from us when he needs it most.
Anyways its pretty easy for anyone of us to let others get us keyed up and angry. As for myself I find it is partly them that can be a trigger but its mostly myself that is at the real root of it.
I had to learn that I needed to forgive and let go of things. To dwell or steep in anger or bitterness for any reason fair or unfair was a terribly unhappy place to keep myself. I would end up making myself miserable and the worst part subjecting my grumbling self to the people I love the most and not even realizing what It had been like for them.
I have my own issues as do all I suspect and wasn't sure I should even post as I would hate to make things worse with some unprofessional babbling here. But it sounds like you were having not so good results from the pros lately.
Just let it all go. You don't need to hang onto the things that will keep winding us up over and over again. Realizing this has helped me and its nice to see a smile on my Tammy's face. It just kills me how me and my problems had made her sad. I am careful now to keep from going there again.
All the best.