I am really gong through a rough time emotionally and in all areas right now and need someone to tal

I worked as a pressfeeder about 25 years ago for a short stint. Lead press guys were paid very well. I hear ya on the breakdowns. Dangerous too!
Are kids far away from you.
Up until school age kids were with me 50% of the time. After that full.time with me so I consider myself lucky.
But the days where the kids were with there Mom, after I got off work (2-3am) I would grab goody bags from 7-11 and leave them in their mailbox.
That way they knew I was thinking of them while they were with their mom.
Both my boys now 24&25 remember it.
Troubleshooting and repair is my life also.
High volume offset web printing.
Relentless breakage and failures.