How the hell do these go together?

4spdragtop said
Trust me its REAL MAYO. None of that Miracle Tit fakeass stuff. Lori likes the fake ****. Says it has a zip.
Texture is totally different and taste too.

Actually, that jar in the picture isn't "real mayo" according to the US FDA definition and it is called "Mayonnaise Dressing" here by law.

I noticed that on your jar it is labeled as 'mayonnaise' but that's because the Canadian definition of the composition is different than the US. I can only imagine what the 'fake' stuff up there really is...probably far lighter than our 'mayonnaise dressing' definition and probably more like our "Miracle Whip" dressing is...