How the hell do these go together?

Just chkd Hellmans site lol. No difference really between the Hellmans mayo and the olive oil version. Only difference I see is the olive oil.
Miracle whip doesn't even say "mayo" on it. I believe it just says "salad dressing"
Olive oil version better be real or next yer gonna tell me there is no Santa Claus....
Well, the "1/2 the fat of regular mayonnaise" on the label you posted in your pic tells you that it is reduced oil and that makes it the same as our "mayonnaise dressing" version. In your case it's HELLMANN'S ® WITH OLIVE OIL LIGHT

Here is the link for your version...

HELLMANN'S ® WITH OLIVE OIL LIGHT

Miracle Whip isn't even mayonnaise dressing here...it's just "dressing"