I've had three 340 cars including a 1970 Swinger with a 4-speed and 3.55s, totally stock, purchased with 11000 miles on it in the fall of 1970 from the original owner.
The handling was ugly, it wasn't particularly quick or fast 14.4@98mph, But on the street all 340 Darts were a force.It's secret was that, with me in it, it scaled at 3330pounds. I was 18 and 140ish in 1971.
The tires, those E70-14 Polyglass roller skates were the absolute worst tires I ever drove on, but once you figured them out, you could do tricks with them, that would send your passengers home with stained shorts, I'm sure! Once I put Radials on her, she became drive-able,lol.
The powertrain in mine was bullet proof. Right up until it blew a W/P belt, and I failed to notice. Thank goodness for 5 and 50 warranties.But after 5 years I had worn out the synchros for the second time, the 3.55s were long gone, in favor of 4.10s.The entire suspension,steering and brakes were worn out. The body had been bashed into so many poles, curbs, ditches,buildings, and yes, other cars too, that I just wanted to get rid of it. I got 58% of my purchase price back, and on the day the new owner came to get it, I told him not to stall it as I had had to push start it to warm it up for him. The starter had just died.It was a cold March day IIRC.
That was the most fun car any young boy could have for $1005 over 5 years,not including repairs, maintenance and the 14 tires it burned up,lol.
So what would you like to know?
Do they need better valve springs?Hyup. What else? Do they suck gas? Hyup. Do they handle like a drunk on rollerskates? With the factory stuff, Hyup.How are the brakes? PDF, pretty darn fine; they saved my bacon on more than a few occasions,Hyup.Is the shifter really as bad as they say? Hyup. Can they really bury the speedo? I think so Hyup; It was hard to keep it on the road after 135 so I didn't really look; and I had 3 other screaming hi-school babies on board. But hey they bought the gas.
How strong is the grill? Not very; I pulled a shift when me and a buddy were playing Push-O-War. His 69 350 Chevelle lost, but it cost me a grill when my car launched into him,Hyup. How are the headlights? I can't say; most of my driving time was during daylight hours. The night was for partying,Hyup.I mean sleeping, so my dad said.
I can tell you another thing; those Polyglass tires and factory steel wheels can really take a beating.That's all I can say about that,Hyup. And another thing, that car could fishtail for a very long ways, but if you got into third gear doing that, you better be on a parking lot, cuz things are gonna get ugly right quick, and there ain't nothing you can do to save it,Nope....
If you care to try it, You can lay rubber in three gears with those belted hard as iron polyglassers, and if you look real hard you might be able to find the shift tell-tales, but mostly not,Nope.But going into 4th is just a chirp cuz now yer doing 100 mph, and a 340 is not a 440, Nope.
It's a terrible winter car,Hyup.The front end is too heavy, the "posi" pushes, the tires are skates, the whole thing is like a drunk on a merry-go-round, Forget that chit, Hyup.
What else? Well the 340 stocker has no top-end rush like a 440, so if you are dumb enough to accept a challenge from a B-car or even a C-car, there is only one way to win; you don't start from a stand still, and you don't race past 85 mph. The 340 will blow off the polyglassers through two or three gears if you try that, and the Polara will be long gone. If you manage not to explode the tires, you stand a chance, but only to 90ish mph, Cuz that 440 Polara is just coming on the pipe in second gear, and in a another second or two he will be showing you his taillights.Hyup, so beware, stack the deck in your favor. I did, but I was almost embarrassed.Hyup. Oh and never pick on a motorcycle any bigger than 350cc. Not even a dirtbike. They will embarrass you for sure, all the way through first gear,hyup
What else. Well the front bench seat is no place to make out in, and neither is the rear so bring blankets, pillows, and bug-spray. Daddy's Biscayne is better. And Mom's Stratochief would be alright too, but I ain't dissing Mom's wheels.
Nope, there is no good place to hide a freshly opened bottle of beer in there. So if the cop pulls you over, just poor it out and accept the ticket. Your breath will give you away every time. And if the bottle tips over in it's hiding place, you're car will reek for two weeks.Just pour it out already,hyup.
Oh yeah, that car is tail-happy! If you downshift it in a turn and don't clutch it just right, you will go around in a hearbeat,hyup.And you cannot stop it with E70-14s. Or Gs or even Ls. So no downshifting in a turn,Nope.And I mean tail-happy. I learned to anticipate the wagging pretty good, but in the end, the bodywork that would be required to hide my learning was telling to say the least,Hyup. Don't ever install E70-14s on anything that has an engine in it, Nope.
what else?Lessee, now;oh I know!; mine was PantherPink, or whatever Dodge called it. If you show up to class in grade 10 with a Pink car, prepare to do battle!,hyup.You are gonna need a thick skin,a quiet demeanor, and if you look like HulkHogan that would help. I was 135ish, so no chance of that,Nope. But I could climb up the ropes in the Gym, faster than anybody else, and I didn't use need to use my legs,nope. And the guys had been banging on me for 4 years already so maybe they were just tired,hyup. Here's another; if you ever go into a turn just a bit too hot, hit the brakes hard. Lock 'em up and hang on tight. If not,in about a half a second the car will be going wherever it wants to and you are just along for the ride,HYUP! If you hit the brakes early enough you stand a good chance of being able to drive it afterwards, cuz those steel wheels and rockhard Es, remember, can take a beating.hyup.A BEATING. When you hit the brakes and while you are skidding, turn the steering wheel hard into the turn and wait. 1-2-3 and off the brakes and hard on the gas, maybe you can spin it around and save the front end, hyup, maybe. You can tow anything with a 340. You can tow a 57 Chevy Belaire 10 miles with the tranny in reverse, and the engine merrily humming along, backwards!,hyup.That was a sad time for me.But I bumped the column shifter into what I thought was gonna be Neutral, cuz this baby looked like it wasn't ever gonna start, and I was sure, I had everything under the hood set up just right. Well the very millisecond I bumped that shifter, the engine burst into life, and I nearly hammered into the back of that Swinger. We pulled over, and the Bel was purring like the well-oiled machine that it was,hyup.I drove it 10 miles home and grabbed a Coke,hyup.Pink is a cop-magnet...and a chick-magnet.....and Mom asks me if I'm gay.....My little brother 3.5 years my junior, can't get enough of it....EVERYBODY and his uncle wants to race me....the cops are knocking on Mom's door pursuing complaints naming me, and I and the car are 600 miles away! for crying out loud, hyup.People blame the Pink Dink for everything. Don't ever paint your car Pink,nope. Did I mention that already,hyup. Did I mention the factory shifter was junk? hyup. But in retrospect, it may not have been as junky as I thought.I have rebuilt those old girls to work pretty good. The junky part really was that the shifter and the adapter plate would come loose and then you couldn't find the gates.They just refused to stay tight. And the nuts on the little levers wouldn't stay tight either. Nowadays loc-tite solves all those issues,hyup.What else? The grills look really nice. The only nicer Dodge grill is the 71Demon grill,only because it comes on a 108wb car with really big wheelwells, that you can actually put more than a G into, and it handles light years better than that tail-wagging Swinger..hyup. The bumpers are decorative, but the nice thing is that the front one is about 35pounds, and comes off in a few minutes.So if you rub it on something a little more sturdy than the neighbors dog, it's quick and easy to replace,hyup.The back bumper looks pretty sturdy, but bump starting it with Uncle-John's F150 is not a good idea.Buy a starter,hyup.Do not carry anything in the trunk that is not bolted down,nope. Sooner or later you will be able to tell what it is .....without looking inside lol,hyup.
I'm sure I'm forgetting something about my 1970Swinger 340, but I'll haveta think onit,hyup.....
Was just joking...
