At a tough spot career-wise... not sure what to do

As a pilot there is no way you can go from zero flight experience to a job qualified ag pilot in 3 months. That is very dangerous, demanding flying. I know a couple people that do/have done it and it's not something you will get in quickly. 3 months for someone with a commercial pilots license maybe, even then it would be a very intense 3 months. I think you didn't read the fine print of that ad.

Probably true but even six or nine months is still nothing compared to waiting nine months to get into school, go to school for a year, THEN look for jobs again all the while still making barely enough to pay rent. I currently live in my parent's house so I'm not completely broke all the time but I'm starting to feel like a loser, I can't stand it. It's pretty embarrassing to go on dates with girls and have to admit sooner or later I live at my parents' house with my mom and 2 younger brothers, and I have a frickin' BSME.