Your biggest car hack job ever

Let's hear about it!

I took a '78 Caprice Estate 450 4bbl 4 door wagon and a buddy (you will see a trend here) dared me to neutral drop it in a mud puddle at the mall. I stomped the gas and jammed it in drive. She went "BANG!" and never turned a tire. Lost 3rd gear and reverse so drove it home on the highway in 2nd screaming along. We went to the wrecking yard and got a Turbo 350 out of the mud for $50 and slammed it in. HEY! It has a shift kit in it. Cool... After a couple or six beers later my buddy (told you so) came out of the garage with an air chisel and said, "Soooooooo, how do you feel about making this into a convertible?" Of course in my current state I thought that was a great idea and we cut the roof off. Of course, being drunk he missed a few times and blew the side glass out all over the driveway of his parents house. We didn't plan ahead and realized we needed to get rid of the roof somewhere. So off to the dump we go. We each had a hand out the window holding onto the roof as it slid around. This was beyond dangerous but the weight MOSTLY held it on. When we got there they saw an empty wagon and asked what we wanted? So we said, "We don't need this anymore!" and stood up in the car lifting the roof over our heads. I thought the attendant's eyes were going to pop out of head! She yelled, "NO WAY! GET OUT!" We ended up dumping it on some asshole's lawn like a turtle shell. He had it coming (I think). Despite being a body on frame car, it turns out that it needed a roof! Door gaps between front and rear opened up to 1 inch at the tops. Car had a "springy" ride after that. Named it the "Skankster" and promptly loaded up my buddies and took it down a motocross track. Last thing I remember before the crash was a guy in the rear seat disappearing from my rearview mirror as I was landing from a jump. He landed back inside the car and I when off the berm into the woods. When the dust cleared I had a 4 inch branch harpooned through the radiator and stuck in the A/C condenser. Could not pull it out so drove it to a buddie's house and chain sawed it off. I left the stump in there.

There is much more but now it is somebody elses turn.