help needed with 904

My question is should I just add the whole .040+ to that front washer or all three of them a little bit?

The problem with that question is that you don't want to move sealing rings to far out of place in their bores or you will have a major fluid pressure loss.
Without being there, and out of giving you a safe answer I would have to say to try and make it up with a couple of them at least. (like the one between the the input and output shafts and the pump washer)
If you try to do it all at the front drum to pump washer you might end up getting the rings too far out and not cover the hole the fluid goes through to apply that clutch.