When you think your job is difficult:

All the below is FWIW and I hope it does you some good, OP:

A lot of what we take for good/bad is 'relative'.. .i.e., we often lose track of the absolute frames of reference for life, and end up judging our success/failure, or the good/bad level, of our lives relative to those around us at the time. It's hard to change perspectives and view things with a different frame of reference when you are in the middle if a situation like this, but if the OP can focus on an absolute frame of reference for his work, then that may make it more bearable. I think post #13 is the absolute frame of reference you are looking for.... and just goes to show what a really bad situation is.

Things do change in the military environment. I was volunteered in '73 for a 4 year Navy stint. And while you think it is not like this in private work, I can assure you that it is the same terms of human nature and for 'crap happening'. You are going to run into assholes and 'situations' all through life. It was awfully discouraging for myself and my fellow employees in a company that had 5 major layoffs in less than 2 years. You just got tired of being on edge all the time, and being ready to be tossed out with no warning, and have to start over. I left after all of that, and it was for the better over the long term.

Looking at it from 40 years later, the one thing I realize is that my military service it was just one phase of my life, not my whole life. That becomes harder to say/think if you have decided to make a career of it. But even if you decide to leave, then there is a lot of life and opportunity out there to grab. So you DO have choices... they may just not be the ones that you thought were going to be in your future. If you can back up a bit, look into and think of your very real options outside of the service, and then logically and willingly come to the conclusion that staying in is the choice that you WANT to make, it'll make things a LOT brighter than just 'bearing up' under it.

Bottom line: Don't let staying in for a certain number of years be the thing that controls your future, or think that you don't have a choice; that can be a bad trap.

OBTW, you mentioned running a private business: I have run my own business for 15 years now; I was unexpectedly laid off in 2003 and then decided to make the dive into running a business. The work levels can be soul-crushing from time to time. (You ought to see the condition of my house after over a decade of hard travel for work and not having time to tend to things as I should/would like.) BUT, on the flip side, there is only one 'company asshole' that I have to answer to .... me... and I can ignore that jerk as the need arises LOL. There have been years of worrying if we will survive to the next year, which always controls your life to some extent, and the end customers always has a big say in how our lives run; we canceled/delayed 2 vacation periods in 2017 just to meet critical customer deadlines. But the end reward of making the 'big bucks' (LOL) has been the compensation. In 2003, things looked bleak, but it all turned around because I took a chance.

I think what this all says is that sometimes you really needed to step back and re-assess your life and future. It sounds like you are darned if you do and darned if you don't in your present situation, and that calls for a re-think IMHO.