Rebuilding a Carr

Forgive the play on words for the thread title.

As most of you know, my last name is Carr and I thought it might be clever for a car site to have something along the lines of the title.

My name is Robert and I suffer from a mental illness that causes me to be depressed, anxious, angry, mistrusting, suspicious, and paranoid. My moods are heightened. If I am down I am in the basement. If I am angry, I am ready to fight. If I happy then I am in the clouds.

Among all this I have been suicidal and homicidal. I have dreamed of torturing people and then leaving them alive to live in misery.

I cannot - will not - live like this anymore. My wife deserves a real man, as do my boys. I deserve more from myself.

My full diagnosis is not clear yet. I have the referral from my therapist to see the shrink. I am on medication. It needs to be changed or adjusted.

My intent is to be a witness to how to live and rebuild my life as I have been full of pain and anger for many years now.

My intent is to let this be a platform for others to give and share from their own experiences.

I will update my progress and my set backs.

I will give a sort of life story to read through and possibly admit some truths about myself that may make some of you revile me or clap me on the back for being honest after many years of hiding.

But throughout it all, you will see the man I am supposed to me come forth in front of you, for better or for worse.

Thank you, one and all for you support and love to allow me to do this.

Robert.